Watch me do me

You know ... Like the Lonely Island sketch.

DISCLAIMER: This is real talk.

Somebody asked why I'm not posting the Jaded Gamer Show on Ballsrog.com especially since it's gotten a good response from those who saw it. Well this is my explanation. I dont want to go too far in depth but trust me I'm very disappointed in some people.

Alright. I don't want to start any drama but I fully intend to keep it real. No subliminals but I'm not going to be pointing fingers... Well, maybe a little but I won't wag it... Ok. Maybe some slight waggage.  But it stems from disappointment not anger.

Generally I expect my date to look pretty and buy me dinner before they FUCK ME!  Wait, back it up.

I used to do a podcast with my crew. It wasnt a smash hit but popular enough to get a few hundred downloads every episode. I was a fan favorite so I spun it off into The Jaded Gamer's Show.

The Jaded Gamer Show was always supposed to be a crew effort. Sure my face would get a lot of time, it's my show. But I wanted my crew involved. Let's start with the intro. You see 3 people other than me in that. It was supposed to be a group effort. Other than one of them appearing on an episode they are nowhere to be found. It was really difficult doing everything myself.  I'm no stranger to entertaining people but I tend to have rehearsed material. But for the show other than a concept, I just turn on the camera and go.

I'm surprised every episode turns out the way they do. Even the fan reaction blows my mind. I thought this would amp up my crew like "Boy, I think they like us."  But no. It was my girlfriend rubbing the knots out of my shoulders telling me "Good job."

Pause.

I'm not complaining. That's just how it was. It was very time consuming trying to have a life, do a podcast, play games, review them and edit a show all by myself.

Play.

So between episode 2 and 3 I brought it up to them. One said he isn't a gamer. (He was the first to buy the 600 dollar ps3 and bragged on the POS all the time. But he rarely played online with us.)  The other said "Anything you need." So I put him in charge of my Facebook group. Everybody in the group is somebody I know personally so I dunno the point of that. I coulda done it myself. Wait... I did..

I'd check to see who posted my videos. I was lucky if any of them watched them when they were hot let alone post them to their wall.

So I just stayed at it. Even though I just wanted to give up. It was too demanding for my schedule. Which was why episode 4 had a ton of reviews and scores attached because I accumulated too much footage and not enough time to edit it.

Even now I have footage for another 2 episodes which might still happen if I can figure out how to apply it.

Anyways. During this time I kicked one member out for being a perverted, disloyal pile of shit who couldn't keep his hands to himself. And I can say that because his actions literally made me sick to my stomach.... And I've eaten live bugs Fear Factor style. (You'll notice I changed the FN2K/Wingman tag at the end of the vids to WTFIJ/FN2K at that point.) And the other dude fell on hard times and just didn't have the time. Fair enough.

Fast forward a year and dude still ain't on the comeback. If I could snap my fingers to end the struggle I would but I just can't. So I put da crew on my back and pushed forward. I delivered little bits of content here and there and posted more entries in this blog. I resumed the podcast too.

Then I ended up on Ballsrog.com not as a writer like I had thought... But as a strong personality and contributor. I've been there a month and I'm finally hitting my stride. 

So why keep the last few pre-Ballsrog.com era videos off the site? (at least for now.) 

I worked way too hard by myself to get this far. So any face that appears even for a split second in any video I put up will be one that had my back. (Yeah Ron... I'm talking to you.) So... I need to change the current intro vid to reflect the current state I'm in and start fresh. Like a new season. Some characters are gone and some new ones will appear. Since I got a new audience I'm not going to carry over old weight. It's a new day and I look forward to being more active on Ballsrog.com

So yeah. No disrespect to anyone but this is my moment. Watch me do me. Nobody but few key people were there to hoist me on their shoulders. I know some were late to the party but it's better than those that never showed up until they knew I was on the come up... Sorry for the long winded entry. Somebody shit on my chest and I had to get it off.

The Jaded Gamer

Twitter: @IamFN2K

Jaded Gamer’s Show Episode 5

Ugh. So busy. I can’t believe I forgot to update my blog with this.

Games and relationships part II

The first part of this entry got me in hot water from the Mrs.  Though I'm willing to bet that most gamers understood the point which was she still acts like the typical gamer's girlfriend sometimes regardless of how well we get along.

She was convinced I made her look like a bitch or that gamers would think she was a bitch. Let me reassure you she is most definitely NOT a bitch.  Honey can I get some yet? No?

Ok while she calms down a bit longer let me explain to you how good I have it.

When Dead Island came out I tore through it like a 12 inch through a hyman (and twice as bloody). I sat on my ass for 5 days and played it. Not 24/7 mind you. I have a job, but needless to say she didn't complain once. Forget Dead Island, she has never ever complained about my gaming habits.   The closest thing I heard to a complaint was that once she felt sad that I chose to play a game instead of watching her change. (It's a nightly ritual. She is really attractive.)

I digress to remind male gamers of something. Since you are a gamer, chances are you were a bit of a nerd and maybe unlucky with the opposite sex in your younger years. If you do have a girlfriend try to remember what it was like before you did. What I'm trying to say is she has boobs. Real boobs. Live and in your face boobies. Remember you used to kill to see some boobosity? Now you just sit in front of the tv night after night while she unleashes the twins. That is so lame. Sure the ladies in games have gotten better rendered but it is no replacement for the real deal. It also doesn't hurt that my girlfriend is built like Bayonetta. And yes she has a sister thats pretty cute too but unless you are a man's man you need not apply.

Anyways. Back to my GF being awesome.  She isn't a gamer at all but she tried. She played Fallout 3 all by herself but dropped the twin sticks because she still finds first person control and combat difficult. So her and I played Fable II a few times and when my game is built in Little Big Planet 2, I know she will play. Also Mod Nation Racers got a bunch of play. For somebody that doesn't play games she  puts up the effort to try purely to make me happy. She even cameos on my show.  Beyond that, her hotness has become one of the gimmicks the show thrives off of.

I objectify her beauty and she lets me exploit it for the purpose of my show. It does help that she is in on the joke but she is well aware of the fact that I'm using her looks and charm to get my product out there. She understands it because (dont jizz, gamers) she was a booth babe for Quake 4.   Oooh. Behind the scenes info. Originally I wanted both my girlfriend and her sister to be the hotties  on the show because her sister is (how do I say this without creeping out my future in law)  a curvy voluptuous lady with a bit of a gothic or hard rock kind of flair. Whereas my girlfriend looks sweet and angelic. Kinda like Two-Face's ladies from Batman Forever. I thought the imagery would look really good on screen.  But anyone that knows me knows I have difficulty rationalizing a "good" reason to exploit a woman's looks/body.  So I figured the way I do it now was the least objectionable way to capitalize on a pretty girl.

But aside from being gorgeous, she supports my gaming now more than ever. Shes watched as I went from an absolute nobody to an obscure somebody to whatever I'm becoming now thanks to my love of games. She doesn't support it because it's been bringing me some attention, she does it because it makes me happy.

The best thing about her as it relates to gaming is her uncanny ability to get me to stop playing games. I'm not telling how though. I've given you enough spank bank imagery.

Street Prophet aka The Jaded Gamer

Twitter: @IamFN2K