Who's dumber?: The media, The parents or The gamers

As a general disclaimer.. These blog posts are done remotely with a wifi tablet and no keyboard. I use auto spell and slide my finger around the virtual keyboard.

In the upcoming episode of The Jaded Gamer's show you will see me present a different side and much more PG friendly version of this topic. (Dont worry. The episode after will be back to being rated M.)

The next episode in question was filmed primarily in 2009 a year after Brandon Crisp died. (if you dont know or remember Crisp... You will) If you don't believe me then look at the continuity with my hair, gotee and 1up t-shirt.

Anyways. One thing that affects gamers more and more often is addiction. The consequences of this addiction can be tame like maybe you stood up your date or skipped class or work for a day.  I myself on several occasions  have called in sick for Day 1-Zero Hour releases. (Which means buying the game the day it comes out the moment the store opens) And infamously skipped 88 days of school in my senior year to play EverQuest.  Doesn't it sound like I have at least a mild addiction to games?  Then how did I graduate? How did I go through college? How do I keep paying my bills on time?  It's time for a heart to heart

The average gamer is in their 30's now so for every Daniel Petric (17) there are a million legit responsible gamers who do not act out.  Fox News doesn't talk about www.WhatTheyPlay.com ... NBC and CTV do not report about gamers and developers raising relief for Japan through www.PlayForJapan.org.  But if there is sideboob, Fox calls it pornography when more titty exists in iCarly (google it) and when a kid runs away and falls out of a tree CBC blames the video game industry.

Tell you what media... instead of asking Sony, Nintendo, Microsoft and the ESRB what they can do to keep violent sexy games out of underage gamers hands, why don't you ask the parents?   Would you drop your 15 year old off with a 6 pack of beer at a strip club? 

Parents need to be educated on the subject of video games.  Personally I thought the media would be doing this but they do more harm than good by trying to educate the public.

Here is my point.  The media kinda says "Video games are bad mmkay." But then the parents buy said bad games for their underage kids so they can play it in their room. Don't you parents even care what you just bought for your kid?  9 times out of 10 if I was playing an M rated game, I had a parent  close by. Why? My parents obviously liked me.

OK. So what about gamers? Shouldn't they take some blame? Hell yeah!

Daniel Petric murdered his mother and shot his father after they took away his Halo 3 disc. That kid is messed.  I'm not picking on Blizzard here but they have fans that take pathetic to new levels of sadness. 99.9% of Blizzard's users are probably decent and live normal lives. But because every game is made to be diverse or immersive or engaging, some users  won't stop playing it. And Blizzard couldn't care less (Why should they? They aren't your parents.) Blizzard isnt stupid. They add more to their games to engross the user more. A buddy of mine calls Blizzard products a "completionist nightmare" I agree with him especially with World of Warcraft.  Its a huge gaming space with a lot to do.  There are even special achievements given out. Dozens if not over a hundred of them to collect. Somebody who wants every last one is going to have to pour a lot of time into the game.  But here is the thing.

WoW does have an end game but that doesn't mean you completed it.  In fact I would argue that you're not supposed to get every last thing in a Blizzard game. That's why its a nightmare because some gamers cant grasp that the game is that big because you're supposed to have your own adventure and experience it your own way.  Additionally I would also say getting everything in a Blizzard game is more a tragedy than an accomplishment. 

But here is where I'm going with my Blizzard point. Blizzard makes good games you want to play.  Your body isn't really made to be sitting stationary for long periods of time every day.  After a while musculoskeletal dystrophy starts killing you. Blot clots might form and hit your heart... Boom ... Death.

This isn't exclusive to hardcore Blizzard gamers. This applies to gamers like me who marathon games on the constant. Its just that Blizzard makes games that you can play for hours or days and that may be only one quest or a really tough skirmish in StarCraft. 

So how stupid do you have to be to sit in one place before you realize you're dying or that you are having a heart attack or that your infant stopped crying...  because it died... of starvation... during your 3 day boss fight in FF 11.

How dumb do you have to be to send your teen into the freezing Canadian wilderness and expect nothing to happen? (Comments like this are why WTFIJ insisted I edit the hell out of the next episode and watch my mouth. Grrr)

How ignorant are you to blame an interactive medium for "teaching" kids poor morals when the parents endorse it?

Seriously how pathetic is it that nobody can take responsibility for this? It's always the game's fault right?

Gamer vs Game player Part 2: The knowledge

The Konami code, the Capcom code, Super Mario Brothers: The Lost Levels, Robotron, Final Fantasy numbers, games like True Crime: Hong Kong that get retrofitted and the term retrofit itself is knowledge gamers just know by being gamers.

One of the traits of being a gamer is understanding the industry and being able to explain it beyond your opinions and break aspects down. As an example consider this.  Stephen King writes for a publisher like Random House or something. Random house prints the book and it's a great book. Do you buy the next book you see from Random House or the next book from Stephen King? You buy the King book right?  Well how about this? Team Bondi made L.A Noire... Rockstar published it in North America. I ran into a friend on the bus who claims to game and know games well but actually argued that L.A Noire is a good game because Rockstar made it.  The thing is they didn't make it... Bethesda didnt make Fallout New Vegas... EA didnt make Dead space, Mass Effect or Hot Pursuit and Square-Enix did not make Just Cause 2.

In general everybody should know the difference between the developers and the publishers now because the company's names are all over the box and splash screens. But when gamers themselves say a game is good because a publisher developed it I want nothing more than to break your jaw. Nothing is more infuriating than somebody being completely wrong.

God of War is published by Capcom in japan. Grab your GoW game case and see if it says that. Do Japanese people think Capcom made it and not Santa Monica studios (Owned by Sony I think)? 

So if you are the type to read a name off the box and say Gamebryo makes great games you should take a closer look at your gamecase. (Gamebryo ports Bethesdas games to PS3)

Activision bought Blizzard. NOT vice versa.  I know you Blizzard fanboys love thinking that Blizzard owns the gaming industry and they are super loaded because WoW gave them more money than God. Shut...the...front...door and read the articles again.  All the money Blizzard makes a year wouldnt cover the amount of money Activision needs to make every 3 months. AND consider the fact Blizzard just might have needed the merge to stay in business. Blizzard doesnt have a good development cycle and they spend crazy money on research. The more users playing their games the more server maintenance costs. Yes Blizzard generates money but if you think they make more than EA, Activision or Nintendo as publishers then you are smokin the good stuff.

Seriously... Only gamers can really grasp how wicked stupid you sound.

Gamers dont need instruction manuals for the most part.  We figure that shit out in the first hour of the game. Now though you may be a gamer there is no shame to RTFM but if you think you don't need a manual and your first question about the game starts with "How do I...?" then just RTFM you obviously are new to this type of game.  Since most games start with tutorials that should quell any questions.

The PS3 doesn't use letters for it's face buttons... Its not an X or O its a cross and circle. Now you can call the cross button X, thats fine. Dont call the circle an O. Its like outting yourself as a noob. In short, gamers know every button on the controller to the point we can say stuff like "Hit cancel and ready up for the match" and we know "hitting cancel" means hitting circle or B and to ready up we hit cross or A. Game players still need time to learn what buttons do in each genre.. Gamers know what button does what we just need to know what to do... Not what to press to do it.

Being a gamer is much more of a hobby than it ever was. And just like anyone who is good at any craft, we take exceptions with people wearinbg the title

Gamer vs. Game player Part 1: The swagger

I'm drawing the line in the sand for all us actual real gamers.  I feel like now is the time because gaming is really popular at the moment and there are a lot of people out there who may not realize they sound silly or are annoying gamers by trying to be one of them.  Over the last year or so I've met too many "gamers" who's claim to game is stuff like Wii sports, Angry Birds and Just Dance.

Thanks to the Wii, IPhone, Ipad and facebook many people are under the impression that you are gamers.  Be real.  Being a "Gamer" is a badge of honor and courage that you earn through years of honing your skills and being informed about games themselves.

I give PC gamers a lot of trolling because its really like watching the hot girl from high school turn into a troll as she ages. But she doesn't own a mirror or been outside.  PC gamers are cute to me. They brag about how pretty their games are or how consoles wont get to enjoy games like Minecraft. *cough*  But as silly as I *think* PC is as a platform, their claim to game is legit.  A lot of the games I play either are multi platform with pc or even ported to/from it.  Even though I probably play a wider variety of games than a PC gamer Steam is changing that rapidly and bringing pc gaming back. Kudos.

But just cuz you lost your life playing WoW or Facebook Bejeweled you dont get to call yourself a gamer cuz its the fad right now.  You are a game player. Its the difference between being a soccer player and knowing how to play soccer.  In the gaming community the formal title is "Casual" gamer. Informally the ones marked as posers are referred to as lamers, llamas and noobs.

Gamers communicate through a lot of lingo a lot of game players just dont know. And you will not learn the lingo unless you become a gamer. Its like a rite of passage.  Its been a long time since I spent time in an MMORPG but can still tell you what buffed, nerfed, AoE, HP, MP, XP, EXP, DPS, DoT, hammering, toon, mule and other lingo means. I can probably tell you about most genres and explain in vivid detail the difference between a horror game and survival horror game.  Whats the difference between Western and JRPGs? If you can't even attempt to explain the difference you are probably not a gamer.

Gamers talk about games...not "a" game... Games. So if you can tell me everything about one game... Thats cool but if thats where your knowledge stops then you are still a softcore gamer.  Nothin wrong with that but dont think you can hang with gamers at a LAN if they arent playin your game of choice.

How would you feel if you spent literally most of your life being teased for being a nerd only to have some noob pick up the sticks (or mouse and keys for my pc gaming buds) play Bejeweled or some other gaming fad like kinect or wii and all of a sudden claim to be a gamer? It would get on your nerves too.  Thats the reality a lot of gamers are facing today.

To be continued...

Blizzard makes me shudder

I used to love Blizzard games and products… But with Diablo 2 and WarCraft 3 I felt like they shipped me the same game I played last time around with better window dressing. 

I don’t mean I felt ripped off with Diablo 2 or Warcraft 3.  I mean I feel like all they did with both those games was add a little here/there and put a new Roman numeral at the end.  Then at World of Warcaft I couldn’t stomach another MMO that had Everquest’s DNA.

And then that was it for me.  Somewhere around 2003 I cashed in my PC gamer card for good and traded Counter-Strike, Blizzard, Epic and Valve games in for the likes of Square-Enix, Bioware and Konami.  Why?  Final Fantasy, Knights of the Old Republic & Metal Gear Solid were all on the Playstation 2.  Then I realized more genres of games exist.  Not everything is a shitty FPS, a button mashing RPG or the same fucking RTS you just played last year but with TWO NEW UNITS! ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GAWD! Two new units?!? Wrap a game around them call it Whatever/Whatever 2: Shitty Subtitle (Now a days those 2 new units are 5.99 DLC apiece)

I’m just tired of Blizzard using it’s money to … what DO they do with their money? They have an amazing R&D department and have possibly hired a PS3 designer for (???).  Nobody knows why?  Blizzard isn’t talking.  Which is lame.  They can dangle the carrot for somebody else because I don’t care anymore. 

I can’t even say Blizzard is doing anything wrong from a developer standpoint… but I don’t feel appreciated as a gamer by them.  As days go by every sort of Blizzard related news story usually has something to do with removing a function I like from a game or them “innovating” on new ways to take my flippen cash. . . Like cross-server pay (I omitted an “'l” in “pay” on purpose).  .

Actually I don’t care… I just realized it doesn’t make a difference because no matter what they do I’m just gonna throw a hissy fit and blog about it.

Cheers.

Brink got better

As you'll see from my review of Brink in the upcoming episode of The Jaded Gamer's show it is a great idea on top of a flawed execution.  It is a bit of a mash-up between Mirrors edge and Team Fortress 2.   Well.. it is closer to Mirrors edge with gunplay and multiple objectives.

When counterstrike was the big thing, my favorite thing to do was practice against the CPU bots.  The AI was terrible but when I wasn't in the mood for humans it worked.  But I still wanted a game like Counterstrike that I could practice offline.

After I saw Brink's concept I thought it would actually be CS but with wicked offline bots.

Well, Brink arrived and it seemed like it was trying to be what I wanted but without much of a game.  Counter strike was a fine mod especially considering it was free.  But then recreating that experience and selling it back to me with parkour at 60 dollars felt like a rip.  I enjoyed the game but it shipped broken with poor online and worse AI issues.  Also the difficulty was time based which lead to the user dominating the computer up until the last minute of the match which the computer would turn into Neo and shift The Matrix to thier liking.  Playing Brink felt more like punishment because after holding a location like a champ for 8 minutes the AI would turn into Seal team 6 with my AI teammates running around like Gomer Pyle. So as the computer turns into a well oiled machine in the last minute my team lives only to let them in and redecorate. 

BUT... After over a month of this crap the good folks over at Splash Damage fixed their game.  I mean honest to God fixed it. The AI plays much better.  There are times where they are still cannon fodder but I can at least count on them more often to complete objectives.  Which makes playing online more of a pleasure too.  Before online play was mandatory with all the online issues. Now you can whip up fun co-op matches against AI and have it feel more natural.

This is not a review just a simple blog entry about them fixing Brink. The stats engine on www.BrinkTheGame.com add a much needed dimension of gameplay and adds more to the meta game.  Soon clan pages will be made available to users too.  Now I know a lot of this stuff should have been there at launch especially since they released the game early but the free DLC coming will keep me calm.

So even though this game came out broken enough people are playing it so that hopefully an amazing sequel will come out.  I tip my hat to splash damage and hope they can take Brink to levels multiplayer shooters havent seen yet.

Best. Games. Ever.

I'm gonna be trying to update this thing several times a week. In order to celebrate my inaugural entry, I'm going to take you through the best games I've ever come into contact with.

So here they are in no real order of importance.

Silent Hill

Notable entries: Silent Hill & Silent Hill 2

Silent Hill should be the game that goes down in history as the game that solidifies a genre and it's sequel enhances the concept.  Everything that followed since Silent Hill 3 became a bit tired but the first 3 or definitely the first two are the Doom and quake of survival horror.

Metal Gear Solid

Notable entries: All of them & Peace Walker

This game goes from being a simple mission to the most crazy absurd yet eerily real plot. I may have been the only person who loved the cutscenes and watched them on every playthrough because I revel in the crazy story.  I dont like stealth games but metal gear is so much fun.

Assassin's Creed

Notable entries: Assassin's creed 2 & Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

This entire franchise is in fact the new GTA but Ubisoft is putting out 2 and it's spin offs back to back year over year effectively mimicking the GTA 3 - San Andreas development cyle in 3 years rather than 8 or so. Here's hoping the 3rd chapter in Ezio's trilogy is AC's San Andreas

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic

The first is better than the second, the 2nd has more force options. I like them both and I'm not even remotely a Star Wars fan. Bioware simply made a fun in depth engaging RPG with hours of dialog and great locations.

Oblivion/Fallout 3/New Vegas

Maybe i'm just a fan of the format or the game's engine but in all three games the point for me is an open ended playground to let my imagination fly.  Every runthrough is slightly unique and epic fun. Which ever you prefer, guns or magic Fallout or Oblivion got it covered

Resident Evil

Notable entries: Resident Evil 2, 4, 5 & Code Veronica

When it comes to RE1 it's easily forgotten between playing RE4 or Code Veronica.

It should be noted that I do not find any of the resident evil games except for 2 scary. Even though they never really fixed the tank controls they all played real well for their time.

Parasite Eve

Part survival horror... Part RPG. All classic. I have been told the sequel sucks. I can tell you personally that 3rd birthday is an action game that mangles the plot of PE 1 + 2 so avoid Parasite Eve's sequels and spin offs.

Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven

It is metal gear solid... But with ninjas

Diablo 1 & 2

Even if you wont catch me playing Diablo 3 (Because Borderlands killed the loot concept for me) Diablo is still a great way to avoid your life.

Contra (NES)

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A

Monster Hunter Unite

Big Monsters, epic battles, crazy loot, crazy crafting system.

Chrono Trigger

The disputed king of 16 bit RPGs.  Fun characters, great plot, multiple endings.  Tag team moves.

Earthbound

This became a cult classic. It's an RPG that takes place in modern times with crazy weapons, funny memorable moments and a character named Poo.

Ninja Gaiden (nes)

To appreciate the next gen you need to play the original which is white knuckle rage inducing  difficult.

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy 7

An interesting spin off, great use of the medium and an easy way to rekindle your love of FF7.  The combat system is incredible.

Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories - Vice City Stories

Do you like Grand Theft Auto 3 or Vice City? Well how about in the palm of your hand?

Both the feel and look of each city.  It is truly amazing how much they can cram into a PSP game. Even full on radio stations appear in each game.

Final Fantasy

Notable entries: 1,4,6,7,8,9,10

The meat and potatoes of RPGs. Some are better than others.  Each one is slightly different. Undoubtably Final Fantasy 4 and 6 are also contenders king of 16-bit RPGs.

Fight Night Round 3 or Champion

This is the game that I use to settle disputes. Or it was until I ruled at it and none of my friends wanted to play against me. I lost interest in it and my skills and now I am hollow.  There will be no comeback.

American McGee's Alice

I think it's sad when a video game is the best retelling of  a dark tale than anything Hollywood ever offered you.  Even  it's sequel is better than anything Tim Burton could muster.

Halo

There. Fanboys may rest.

Doom/Quake

At this point, these games are history lessons.

Anything Valve

Half Life, Half Life 2, Team Fortress 2, Portal, Portal 2, Left 4 Dead, Left 4 Dead 2.

All solid first person shooters in very different sub genres.

LittleBigPlanet

It never ends.  How many time  did you finish the same old boring levels in Super Mario Bros? This is the platformer with infinite possibilities. It ends when people die.

BioShock

Great plot twist if you never see it coming.

Fatal Frame

I made fun of this game for months before release.  However, I bought it day one and it scared the living shit outta me. Still to this day, Silent Hill and Fatal Frame are the 1-2 punch of survival horror.

Saw 2 (Fans only)

This only makes the list because the puzzles and atmosphere are a great addition to the world of Saw. If the rest of the game weren't bad then this game would truly be a hidden gem of Survival Horror. 

God of War & Heavenly Sword

If you like one, you will like them all.


Need For Speed

Notable entries: Underground,Hot Pursuit 2, Hot Pursuit (2010)

The series that nails the arcade racer with emphasis on speed. It's been the staple

racer for 3 generations of consoles. Amazing.

Yakuza

It's like GTA but smaller and more densely packed.  A LOT of stuff to do.

Bayonetta

Best  action game ever.  You may not like the plot or environment but if you cant agree that the gameplay is seamless and the combat is adrenaline pumping than you sir... hate fun

Borderlands

It's a first person shooter that's an action RPG... amazing.

Katamari

Rollin shit up in a ball.  Never gets old.

TO BE CONTINUED

Fallout New Vegas ... Still Glitched out

This new update does nothing much to solve the bugs or game crashing glitches. I think it's the 1.06 update. It's also about 527 megs too.  You would think an update this substantial would fix the problem gamers would be having when playing the game. But no.. Obsidian continues to push out expansions like abortions adding more glitched out content.  So now you get to gamble with crashes for an extra few hours per expansion.

I get why it is set in vegas now. Playing it is like roulette or craps but with odds favoring the house heavily.  Every play session I've had since the 2nd update is riddled with glitchery. .

I suppose it's a testament to how good the game is. Gamers keep going back to get kicked in the dick harder and harder. And Obsidian just put on spiked shoes. I'm gonna go grab a cup.