Brink got better

As you'll see from my review of Brink in the upcoming episode of The Jaded Gamer's show it is a great idea on top of a flawed execution.  It is a bit of a mash-up between Mirrors edge and Team Fortress 2.   Well.. it is closer to Mirrors edge with gunplay and multiple objectives.

When counterstrike was the big thing, my favorite thing to do was practice against the CPU bots.  The AI was terrible but when I wasn't in the mood for humans it worked.  But I still wanted a game like Counterstrike that I could practice offline.

After I saw Brink's concept I thought it would actually be CS but with wicked offline bots.

Well, Brink arrived and it seemed like it was trying to be what I wanted but without much of a game.  Counter strike was a fine mod especially considering it was free.  But then recreating that experience and selling it back to me with parkour at 60 dollars felt like a rip.  I enjoyed the game but it shipped broken with poor online and worse AI issues.  Also the difficulty was time based which lead to the user dominating the computer up until the last minute of the match which the computer would turn into Neo and shift The Matrix to thier liking.  Playing Brink felt more like punishment because after holding a location like a champ for 8 minutes the AI would turn into Seal team 6 with my AI teammates running around like Gomer Pyle. So as the computer turns into a well oiled machine in the last minute my team lives only to let them in and redecorate. 

BUT... After over a month of this crap the good folks over at Splash Damage fixed their game.  I mean honest to God fixed it. The AI plays much better.  There are times where they are still cannon fodder but I can at least count on them more often to complete objectives.  Which makes playing online more of a pleasure too.  Before online play was mandatory with all the online issues. Now you can whip up fun co-op matches against AI and have it feel more natural.

This is not a review just a simple blog entry about them fixing Brink. The stats engine on www.BrinkTheGame.com add a much needed dimension of gameplay and adds more to the meta game.  Soon clan pages will be made available to users too.  Now I know a lot of this stuff should have been there at launch especially since they released the game early but the free DLC coming will keep me calm.

So even though this game came out broken enough people are playing it so that hopefully an amazing sequel will come out.  I tip my hat to splash damage and hope they can take Brink to levels multiplayer shooters havent seen yet.

Best. Games. Ever.

I'm gonna be trying to update this thing several times a week. In order to celebrate my inaugural entry, I'm going to take you through the best games I've ever come into contact with.

So here they are in no real order of importance.

Silent Hill

Notable entries: Silent Hill & Silent Hill 2

Silent Hill should be the game that goes down in history as the game that solidifies a genre and it's sequel enhances the concept.  Everything that followed since Silent Hill 3 became a bit tired but the first 3 or definitely the first two are the Doom and quake of survival horror.

Metal Gear Solid

Notable entries: All of them & Peace Walker

This game goes from being a simple mission to the most crazy absurd yet eerily real plot. I may have been the only person who loved the cutscenes and watched them on every playthrough because I revel in the crazy story.  I dont like stealth games but metal gear is so much fun.

Assassin's Creed

Notable entries: Assassin's creed 2 & Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

This entire franchise is in fact the new GTA but Ubisoft is putting out 2 and it's spin offs back to back year over year effectively mimicking the GTA 3 - San Andreas development cyle in 3 years rather than 8 or so. Here's hoping the 3rd chapter in Ezio's trilogy is AC's San Andreas

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic

The first is better than the second, the 2nd has more force options. I like them both and I'm not even remotely a Star Wars fan. Bioware simply made a fun in depth engaging RPG with hours of dialog and great locations.

Oblivion/Fallout 3/New Vegas

Maybe i'm just a fan of the format or the game's engine but in all three games the point for me is an open ended playground to let my imagination fly.  Every runthrough is slightly unique and epic fun. Which ever you prefer, guns or magic Fallout or Oblivion got it covered

Resident Evil

Notable entries: Resident Evil 2, 4, 5 & Code Veronica

When it comes to RE1 it's easily forgotten between playing RE4 or Code Veronica.

It should be noted that I do not find any of the resident evil games except for 2 scary. Even though they never really fixed the tank controls they all played real well for their time.

Parasite Eve

Part survival horror... Part RPG. All classic. I have been told the sequel sucks. I can tell you personally that 3rd birthday is an action game that mangles the plot of PE 1 + 2 so avoid Parasite Eve's sequels and spin offs.

Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven

It is metal gear solid... But with ninjas

Diablo 1 & 2

Even if you wont catch me playing Diablo 3 (Because Borderlands killed the loot concept for me) Diablo is still a great way to avoid your life.

Contra (NES)

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A

Monster Hunter Unite

Big Monsters, epic battles, crazy loot, crazy crafting system.

Chrono Trigger

The disputed king of 16 bit RPGs.  Fun characters, great plot, multiple endings.  Tag team moves.

Earthbound

This became a cult classic. It's an RPG that takes place in modern times with crazy weapons, funny memorable moments and a character named Poo.

Ninja Gaiden (nes)

To appreciate the next gen you need to play the original which is white knuckle rage inducing  difficult.

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy 7

An interesting spin off, great use of the medium and an easy way to rekindle your love of FF7.  The combat system is incredible.

Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories - Vice City Stories

Do you like Grand Theft Auto 3 or Vice City? Well how about in the palm of your hand?

Both the feel and look of each city.  It is truly amazing how much they can cram into a PSP game. Even full on radio stations appear in each game.

Final Fantasy

Notable entries: 1,4,6,7,8,9,10

The meat and potatoes of RPGs. Some are better than others.  Each one is slightly different. Undoubtably Final Fantasy 4 and 6 are also contenders king of 16-bit RPGs.

Fight Night Round 3 or Champion

This is the game that I use to settle disputes. Or it was until I ruled at it and none of my friends wanted to play against me. I lost interest in it and my skills and now I am hollow.  There will be no comeback.

American McGee's Alice

I think it's sad when a video game is the best retelling of  a dark tale than anything Hollywood ever offered you.  Even  it's sequel is better than anything Tim Burton could muster.

Halo

There. Fanboys may rest.

Doom/Quake

At this point, these games are history lessons.

Anything Valve

Half Life, Half Life 2, Team Fortress 2, Portal, Portal 2, Left 4 Dead, Left 4 Dead 2.

All solid first person shooters in very different sub genres.

LittleBigPlanet

It never ends.  How many time  did you finish the same old boring levels in Super Mario Bros? This is the platformer with infinite possibilities. It ends when people die.

BioShock

Great plot twist if you never see it coming.

Fatal Frame

I made fun of this game for months before release.  However, I bought it day one and it scared the living shit outta me. Still to this day, Silent Hill and Fatal Frame are the 1-2 punch of survival horror.

Saw 2 (Fans only)

This only makes the list because the puzzles and atmosphere are a great addition to the world of Saw. If the rest of the game weren't bad then this game would truly be a hidden gem of Survival Horror. 

God of War & Heavenly Sword

If you like one, you will like them all.


Need For Speed

Notable entries: Underground,Hot Pursuit 2, Hot Pursuit (2010)

The series that nails the arcade racer with emphasis on speed. It's been the staple

racer for 3 generations of consoles. Amazing.

Yakuza

It's like GTA but smaller and more densely packed.  A LOT of stuff to do.

Bayonetta

Best  action game ever.  You may not like the plot or environment but if you cant agree that the gameplay is seamless and the combat is adrenaline pumping than you sir... hate fun

Borderlands

It's a first person shooter that's an action RPG... amazing.

Katamari

Rollin shit up in a ball.  Never gets old.

TO BE CONTINUED

Fallout New Vegas ... Still Glitched out

This new update does nothing much to solve the bugs or game crashing glitches. I think it's the 1.06 update. It's also about 527 megs too.  You would think an update this substantial would fix the problem gamers would be having when playing the game. But no.. Obsidian continues to push out expansions like abortions adding more glitched out content.  So now you get to gamble with crashes for an extra few hours per expansion.

I get why it is set in vegas now. Playing it is like roulette or craps but with odds favoring the house heavily.  Every play session I've had since the 2nd update is riddled with glitchery. .

I suppose it's a testament to how good the game is. Gamers keep going back to get kicked in the dick harder and harder. And Obsidian just put on spiked shoes. I'm gonna go grab a cup.

Duke is Puke.. and I love it

First of all I'm the only person you need to listen to about this game. Critics waited 12 years to shit on this game and that is just lame.

Big guns, swearing, babes and throwing freshly squeezed poo is the only way to describe Duke Nukem Forever.

If you've never encountered or heard of Duke Nukem 3D then stay clear of this game. If you prefer games with a good plot and modern graphics then skip this game.

If you are looking for nothing more than closure to a 12 year wait... Don't even rent it just borrow it off  of somebody sad enough to own it... like me for example.

Are there boobies? Yeah. A little bit. One stage takes place within a small strip club in which you easily hunt down a vibrator, popcorn and a condom. (Note: The reviewer at 1up.com proclaims this level takes 20-30 minutes to complete. It takes only half of that so he was clearly masturbating, felt guilty and gave the game an F)

The bulk of the game takes place in and around Las Vegas as you journey from Duke's penthouse to Hoover Dam. Same guns, same enemies and similar Duke catch phrases.  It's basically a higher resolution version of Duke Nukem.  The gameplay conventions are instantly familiar to any Duke veteran.  You grab a gun, point and shoot and try not to die.  There are no health packs but your health/shield/Ego recharge when you stop taking damage. Unlike Duke3D you wont be able to pick up every single weapon you find but I found there was more than enough ammo in the debris.

So what makes this a bad game? The plot is barely even servicable and barely makes sense. It is literally as if everyone on earth remembers Duke's exploits but the aliens developed a hardcore case of amniesia after 12 years and decided to duplicate their plans to achieve failure at the hands of Duke Nukem. Their plan remains the same.  Kidnap Earth's babes and use them to birth aliens as they wreck the planet.  A lot of reviewers are put off by this premise because it involves the suggested rape and murder of dozens of women including Duke's girlfriends. Even this is nothing new to the universe of Duke because you spent the entirety of Episode 2 of Duke Nukem 3D doing the same thing.

Where the game completely falls apart however is between the loading screens and the repetition. No matter where you are the game revolves around pointing and shooting without a clear route through levels.  You pretty much go from place to place going through the motions feeling less and less bad ass as you progress and more and more like a dolt.  Other characters offer less and less to the experience and seem more and more stupid the further you progress. Duke revels in his own absurdity but fails to be anything more than a divine comedy in that only the Gods could find humor in such a tragedy of a game with so much promise.

The loading screens ruined it for me.  I got stuck on the Octobrain boss in the closing stages of the game and no word of a lie I spent easily 5 to 10 minutes or more at the loading screen after premature deaths than I did fighting the boss. 10 seconds of gameplay 30 seconds of loading... 21 seconds of playing... 30 seconds of loading... and it goes on like this any time you find spicy hot instant death.

The laughable plot, the increasinly stale gameplay and the loading screens will easily eclipse any fun you will have with this game.  There are fun bits though which reviewers seem to mention but never take into account with the give the game a 0 so I wont do that.  This game doesnt exactly get a passing grade from me but with a little more polish I'd have given the game a slightly higher score.

RED: 5.5

HIGHS: Guns, babes, explosions, poo

LOWS: Not very funny - gets boring -LOADING

No comment: LA Noire

I'm not reviewing this game. But I will talk about it. First of all I bought it used with the add on voucher still valid. In other words Rockstar didn't get money from me. At first I felt bad but the feeling didn't last long.

LA Noire has been hyped up to rediciulous proportions to the point people think they are playing the greatest game ever. Before this game was a hit Rockstar branded it as a franchise. This is annoying because there is a lot about this game that is not good. The plot is... there... but the execution is just as repetitive as Assassins Creed which got a lot of hate for it being repetitive as all hell

Every case is pretty much crime scene, search for clues, talk to witness, collect more clues at a new location, talk to new people, chase or shoot out followed by interrogate and then case closed. The random street crimes trend to all be "go here and subdue suspect"

The graphics are very well done however because they are so life like, the facial transitions can look awkward and robotic. Sometimes the heads look copied and pasted on. Every once and a while the motion captured animations make the controls feel clunky. For instance running up a fire escape. It's not obvious unless you release the controls but Cole will ascend every flight of stairs on his own when the animation begins which means you are locked into his direction of travel.

The in between bits where you are allowed to free roam look good but the city is not as full of life outside of street crimes so you are pretty much a tourist when driving around.

I don't know if LA Noir is supposed to be cinematic adventure like Heavy Rain or cinematic action like metal gear solid but either way it can't decide. They could just as well shoehorned this game into a CSI premise  and it would have made sense.

Once I play through to completion I might review it but for now any review from me would just be troll fodder

JG

Pre-order deez nuts bitch!

EB Games and Blockbuster think consumers are dumb.  In fact.. A lot of gamers are dumb. But places like EB and Blockbuster make gamers dumb by feeding us nonsense. EB and Blockbuster both make gamers believe that without pre-ordering the game you may not get a copy.

This is a bold face lie. Anybody who believes this lie only makes it worse for the rest of us. 

In my life I've only really had to actually utilize the pre-order option twice. Once for silent hill homecoming and once for Saw 2:Flesh and Blood.  The reason I had to preorder had more to do with the fact that EB apparently doesn't actually stock many copies of them at launch. I just wanted to make sure I got my copy on day 1.

But then it hit me. . EB games is a specialty hobby shop... They specialize in games.. I should be able to walk in and buy the game no question. So.. Last November I decided pre orders are for suckers. So here are a few games I bought incident free on either day or week 1.  Assassins creed brotherhood, fallout new vegas, dead space 2 and need for speed hot pursuit. . EB never ran outta stock on any of these items and the first print run of NFS & Dead Space 2 are marked limited edition.

Yeah I know.. None of those games are call of duty or halo. But.. Day 1 of CoD black ops coming out...After the midnight sale at best buy... I walked in to see if I could get a copy.... not only were there copies galore, but still to this day... months later...  I can find the limited edition with the Rc car in there. Gee .. I was told to pre order or i'd never get a copy.

However. Counter-point.. Pre-orders make great gifts. My girlfriend always preorders any game that will be a gift. (Thanks for little big planet 2 baby) So preorders are not completely useless...

But the next time somebody at EB tells you to pre order... Tell them to preorder your nuts

JG