Watch me do me

You know ... Like the Lonely Island sketch.

DISCLAIMER: This is real talk.

Somebody asked why I'm not posting the Jaded Gamer Show on Ballsrog.com especially since it's gotten a good response from those who saw it. Well this is my explanation. I dont want to go too far in depth but trust me I'm very disappointed in some people.

Alright. I don't want to start any drama but I fully intend to keep it real. No subliminals but I'm not going to be pointing fingers... Well, maybe a little but I won't wag it... Ok. Maybe some slight waggage.  But it stems from disappointment not anger.

Generally I expect my date to look pretty and buy me dinner before they FUCK ME!  Wait, back it up.

I used to do a podcast with my crew. It wasnt a smash hit but popular enough to get a few hundred downloads every episode. I was a fan favorite so I spun it off into The Jaded Gamer's Show.

The Jaded Gamer Show was always supposed to be a crew effort. Sure my face would get a lot of time, it's my show. But I wanted my crew involved. Let's start with the intro. You see 3 people other than me in that. It was supposed to be a group effort. Other than one of them appearing on an episode they are nowhere to be found. It was really difficult doing everything myself.  I'm no stranger to entertaining people but I tend to have rehearsed material. But for the show other than a concept, I just turn on the camera and go.

I'm surprised every episode turns out the way they do. Even the fan reaction blows my mind. I thought this would amp up my crew like "Boy, I think they like us."  But no. It was my girlfriend rubbing the knots out of my shoulders telling me "Good job."

Pause.

I'm not complaining. That's just how it was. It was very time consuming trying to have a life, do a podcast, play games, review them and edit a show all by myself.

Play.

So between episode 2 and 3 I brought it up to them. One said he isn't a gamer. (He was the first to buy the 600 dollar ps3 and bragged on the POS all the time. But he rarely played online with us.)  The other said "Anything you need." So I put him in charge of my Facebook group. Everybody in the group is somebody I know personally so I dunno the point of that. I coulda done it myself. Wait... I did..

I'd check to see who posted my videos. I was lucky if any of them watched them when they were hot let alone post them to their wall.

So I just stayed at it. Even though I just wanted to give up. It was too demanding for my schedule. Which was why episode 4 had a ton of reviews and scores attached because I accumulated too much footage and not enough time to edit it.

Even now I have footage for another 2 episodes which might still happen if I can figure out how to apply it.

Anyways. During this time I kicked one member out for being a perverted, disloyal pile of shit who couldn't keep his hands to himself. And I can say that because his actions literally made me sick to my stomach.... And I've eaten live bugs Fear Factor style. (You'll notice I changed the FN2K/Wingman tag at the end of the vids to WTFIJ/FN2K at that point.) And the other dude fell on hard times and just didn't have the time. Fair enough.

Fast forward a year and dude still ain't on the comeback. If I could snap my fingers to end the struggle I would but I just can't. So I put da crew on my back and pushed forward. I delivered little bits of content here and there and posted more entries in this blog. I resumed the podcast too.

Then I ended up on Ballsrog.com not as a writer like I had thought... But as a strong personality and contributor. I've been there a month and I'm finally hitting my stride. 

So why keep the last few pre-Ballsrog.com era videos off the site? (at least for now.) 

I worked way too hard by myself to get this far. So any face that appears even for a split second in any video I put up will be one that had my back. (Yeah Ron... I'm talking to you.) So... I need to change the current intro vid to reflect the current state I'm in and start fresh. Like a new season. Some characters are gone and some new ones will appear. Since I got a new audience I'm not going to carry over old weight. It's a new day and I look forward to being more active on Ballsrog.com

So yeah. No disrespect to anyone but this is my moment. Watch me do me. Nobody but few key people were there to hoist me on their shoulders. I know some were late to the party but it's better than those that never showed up until they knew I was on the come up... Sorry for the long winded entry. Somebody shit on my chest and I had to get it off.

The Jaded Gamer

Twitter: @IamFN2K

Jaded Gamer’s Show Episode 5

Ugh. So busy. I can’t believe I forgot to update my blog with this.

Games and relationships part II

The first part of this entry got me in hot water from the Mrs.  Though I'm willing to bet that most gamers understood the point which was she still acts like the typical gamer's girlfriend sometimes regardless of how well we get along.

She was convinced I made her look like a bitch or that gamers would think she was a bitch. Let me reassure you she is most definitely NOT a bitch.  Honey can I get some yet? No?

Ok while she calms down a bit longer let me explain to you how good I have it.

When Dead Island came out I tore through it like a 12 inch through a hyman (and twice as bloody). I sat on my ass for 5 days and played it. Not 24/7 mind you. I have a job, but needless to say she didn't complain once. Forget Dead Island, she has never ever complained about my gaming habits.   The closest thing I heard to a complaint was that once she felt sad that I chose to play a game instead of watching her change. (It's a nightly ritual. She is really attractive.)

I digress to remind male gamers of something. Since you are a gamer, chances are you were a bit of a nerd and maybe unlucky with the opposite sex in your younger years. If you do have a girlfriend try to remember what it was like before you did. What I'm trying to say is she has boobs. Real boobs. Live and in your face boobies. Remember you used to kill to see some boobosity? Now you just sit in front of the tv night after night while she unleashes the twins. That is so lame. Sure the ladies in games have gotten better rendered but it is no replacement for the real deal. It also doesn't hurt that my girlfriend is built like Bayonetta. And yes she has a sister thats pretty cute too but unless you are a man's man you need not apply.

Anyways. Back to my GF being awesome.  She isn't a gamer at all but she tried. She played Fallout 3 all by herself but dropped the twin sticks because she still finds first person control and combat difficult. So her and I played Fable II a few times and when my game is built in Little Big Planet 2, I know she will play. Also Mod Nation Racers got a bunch of play. For somebody that doesn't play games she  puts up the effort to try purely to make me happy. She even cameos on my show.  Beyond that, her hotness has become one of the gimmicks the show thrives off of.

I objectify her beauty and she lets me exploit it for the purpose of my show. It does help that she is in on the joke but she is well aware of the fact that I'm using her looks and charm to get my product out there. She understands it because (dont jizz, gamers) she was a booth babe for Quake 4.   Oooh. Behind the scenes info. Originally I wanted both my girlfriend and her sister to be the hotties  on the show because her sister is (how do I say this without creeping out my future in law)  a curvy voluptuous lady with a bit of a gothic or hard rock kind of flair. Whereas my girlfriend looks sweet and angelic. Kinda like Two-Face's ladies from Batman Forever. I thought the imagery would look really good on screen.  But anyone that knows me knows I have difficulty rationalizing a "good" reason to exploit a woman's looks/body.  So I figured the way I do it now was the least objectionable way to capitalize on a pretty girl.

But aside from being gorgeous, she supports my gaming now more than ever. Shes watched as I went from an absolute nobody to an obscure somebody to whatever I'm becoming now thanks to my love of games. She doesn't support it because it's been bringing me some attention, she does it because it makes me happy.

The best thing about her as it relates to gaming is her uncanny ability to get me to stop playing games. I'm not telling how though. I've given you enough spank bank imagery.

Street Prophet aka The Jaded Gamer

Twitter: @IamFN2K

Do or die for the Ps3

I don't care what anybody says... The Wii lost the console war. Nintendo got a leg cramp 100 yards from the finish and bailed. Besides I value actual real games from developers other than Nintendo and that isn't Nintendo's style.

But, since Microsoft wanted the 360 to leapfrog the Ps3, Sony should really figure out a concrete solution to make the 360 look obsolete enough that they can pick up enough numbers to help them reach a 10 year cycle.  Sony had success for a little bit against the 360 but the universe corrected itself and the 360 continues to have good sales. 

The problem is that the 360 still looks appealing to the average consumer. I'm stunned to find out they believe the 360 is a more powerful piece of hardware. I don't know if that's Sony or a developer fault. Kinect looks more futuristic than Playstation Move until you realize "Hey. Maybe I need some damn buttons to play this shooter after all!"

Free online should have been a slamdunk for Sony. A lot of analysts thought Microsoft would have to have a free online model, but nope Microsoft stood by it. I still think it's a rip that I'm paying for not only the internet but twitter and facebook also. But playing online on Xbl is honestly . . terrible most of the time. But with friends is a blast. And you don't even have to be playing the same game.

The Ps3 has all that disc storage but I'm installing most games. The 360 doesn't have that issue. In fact my Ps3's fan kicks in a lot faster and more often than it used to.

Look. I love my ps3. I just feel like it isn't getting the right attention. It's such an awesome system but somebody keeps dropping the ball with it. It's become a system that watches what Microsoft does with the 360 and then copies it.

I must say that dollar for dollar PsN plus is a much better value than Xbox live Gold. Sony just needs to figure out how to show that off more.  The amount of cash I saved and free games I got was great.

2012 is the last year ps3 can pull a power move else the 360 is going to crush it into tiny meat chunks and serve it raw to the Next gen

Street Prophet aka The Jaded Gamer.

Twitter: @IamFN2K

Silent Hill's last chance

I wouldn't say I'm an expert on horror games or even explain survival horror to you. For myself a survival horror title didn't really take full form I until Silent Hill. Resident Evil 1 to 3 was less a survival horror title to me. Good games but they never resonated the same way.

Silent Hill 1 and 2 are landmark survival horror games. But then Fatal Frame came along and broke me. Nothing is scary to me anymore. Fatal Frame hit every note correctly. The plot made my skin crawl. The ghosts were more than apparitions of evil. They hunted and stalked you or haunted your dreams when the twin sticks weren't in your flop sweat soaked palms. Every single quality was top notch. The voice acting did however ruin some of the mood.  Everything else was so good it just didn't occur how bad the voice acting was in rare spots.

Ever since the fateful night I completed Fatal Frame 2 I just can't get it up for any other horror game since. I enjoy most of them but I don't consider them scary.

So anybody who wants to convince me that Dead Space or it's sequel is scary.. Just stop. I think they are both awesome but seldom if ever did I experience one emotion needed; fear.  If you must know I felt it was creepy at best. I was not afraid at any point in the first because they made it possible to complete the first gun with the equivalent of a pistol. As for the second one. I only wish I had the footage of me "calling out the scares".  However.. The raptor-like monster from the sequel was one of the best and most intuitive enemies I had the pleasure of encountering. But I was not afraid to advance or face anything.

That goes for Silent Hill 4 up to Homecoming.  4 is by far my least favorite game in the series and I have never beaten it again since.  The PSP games were alright. Homecoming was ok. Don't get me started on Saw. I enjoyed the Saw games and wish a real grown up triple A developer would take what was created and run with it. I will go on the record as saying the Saw games aren't terrible. You don't have to like them because their flaws are not hard to spot.

With every iteration of Silent Hill it feels more and more distant from the feeling and emotion of the first two.  The imagery has always been excellent but poorly managed since 3. 

In truth I think half the problem is me. From the moment they announce a new Survival Horror game, I follow it daily. By the time it gets to my hands I already know what will happen within the first 10 minutes of gameplay.

So with Silent Hill Downpour I stayed in the dark. I know nothing about this game. What I do know is that it better be the next standard of horror or I will thrust myself off the highest building and land in acid because I don't want to live in a world where Dead Space is the standard by which everything is judged. Ew.

Street Prophet aka The Jaded Gamer

Twitter @IamFN2K

Way too many games you guys

Hey game developers! Could you please just stop and take a breath for one minute and listen to me?

This fall release schedule is insane. Do any of you realize how many sales you are missing out on because you insist on cramming a million releases into three months? There are countless triple A titles I'm forced to skip purely because I'm not spending hundreds of dollars just to pick up every new release.

Some of you publishers seriously are head wounded. Especially Sony coming out with a bunch of ill timed HD remakes. Yes I want Silent Hill, God of War, Team Ico and Metal Gear HD updates. But do you really think I'm going to get them brand new? I'm going for the triple A titles first. Then I'm going to pick up all those HD titles used because their print runs will have expired.

Rage or Silent Hill? Batman or Call of Duty? Assassin's Creed or Skyrim? Resistance or Dead Island? Battlefield 3 or Gears of War? And 10,000 other choices.  The industry is cranking out way too much awesome this season and gamers don't want to be rushed. One week isn't enough time to enjoy one game before the next major release.

I don't want to see any game fail but you publishers obviously think gamers are rich so I hope half of these releases tank hard so you learn to stagger these titles.

In particular I hope Assassin's Creed bites it into oblivion! Ubisoft admits to beating a dying horse recently. I can't remember the exact terms three spokesperson said but it was pretty much they didn't expect 2 to be so popular and they decided to milk the idea for a bit before giving gamers the resolution they want.

I hope Rage becomes a sleeper hit for Id soft. They haven't had a new IP in years and this one looks like Id is showing why they rule.

Ugh. Ok I hope every game does well. I'm just a hater. I guess I'll get these games at some point but I just don't like how packed this release schedule is. It's just way too many games you guys.

Street Prophet aka The Jaded Gamer.

Twitter: @IamFN2K

I'm so lame, dude

Wow. I don't know where to start.  I got a lot to get off my chest so maybe you'd want to skip to the end to see my point.

First off thank you to everybody for your comments and kind words of encouragement. I may not be very popular (yet) but the support has kept me from fading away.

I'm not gonna lie and say life has been hard but it has not been very easy. Juggling life, gaming, the show and a podcast is overwhelming especially because a lot of the responsibility for putting the content out is mine. So if I forget or don't have the time then everything falls apart.

The worst part about this process is that I'm supposed to have a staff of people behind me and I don't. I took on all this responsibility because I did have a team behind me. You may have seen me reference them. We're called FN2K. There are two divisions of it. The one I run sucks. They don't have the ambition, heart, drive or stamina I do to triumph. All but one have copped out, betrayed my trust or made an endless amount of excuses of which I no longer have time for.  This is not a jab at any of them. It's just the fact of life. My crew routinely lets me down or doesn't listen. Anything coming out of FN2K now more than ever is all if not mostly my doing.

The Jaded Gamer's show WAS NOT supposed to be just my floating head babbling. It was supposed to be me and FN2K causing a ruckus in gaming. Silly me thought that after my first two episodes were received with appreciation from the gaming community that these other members would love to be a part of it. Nope. We don't even play games together and that is what FN2K is supposed to be about.

So . . Here I am repping a crew of gamers WHO DON'T PLAY GAMES. I'm so lame dude. Ever since episode 2 I've been scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas purely to keep my crew on the map. And for what? They don't watch my show, hear my podcast. In fact the people who promote my show (shout out to Rondell Exclusive) regularly, don't have a stake in FN2K.

Anyways, I digress. I'm just mad.  Mad because my passion takes time. Time I can't have to myself. I clear days off my schedule to get things done but every single fucking time I do, my girlfriend hijacks a huge chunk of it.  I booked a week off in the summer purely to work on projects and every day I was interrupted. I'm not picking on her just illustrating how difficult it's been to do anything recently. All the while I put everything else first which I admit I shouldn't have done.  So when I'm not dealing with slackers or complaints or people who constantly want attention and gold stars for doing their job, all I've been doing is turning off the world and playing video games.

Normally it is not an escape for me. But vegging out in the living room playing Dead Island or isolating myself in the back playing Minecraft is me taking time away from everything that has been getting under my skin. In a sense I'm taking back time that has been taken from me.

But my work and life has been suffering because I've been feeling sorry for myself recently. It took me far too long to get out of this funk but seeing as nobody wants to help me up, it's up to me yet again to pull myself to my feet. Now it's different. In the coming days I'm going to attempt to hitch my wagon to a locomotive that is gaining stream instead of losing it.  I don't want to jynx it or leak details yet but this power move might be the smartest decision I made recently. So wish me luck.

Street Prophet aka The Jaded Gamer

Follow me on twitter @IamFN2K