I'm so lame, dude

Wow. I don't know where to start.  I got a lot to get off my chest so maybe you'd want to skip to the end to see my point.

First off thank you to everybody for your comments and kind words of encouragement. I may not be very popular (yet) but the support has kept me from fading away.

I'm not gonna lie and say life has been hard but it has not been very easy. Juggling life, gaming, the show and a podcast is overwhelming especially because a lot of the responsibility for putting the content out is mine. So if I forget or don't have the time then everything falls apart.

The worst part about this process is that I'm supposed to have a staff of people behind me and I don't. I took on all this responsibility because I did have a team behind me. You may have seen me reference them. We're called FN2K. There are two divisions of it. The one I run sucks. They don't have the ambition, heart, drive or stamina I do to triumph. All but one have copped out, betrayed my trust or made an endless amount of excuses of which I no longer have time for.  This is not a jab at any of them. It's just the fact of life. My crew routinely lets me down or doesn't listen. Anything coming out of FN2K now more than ever is all if not mostly my doing.

The Jaded Gamer's show WAS NOT supposed to be just my floating head babbling. It was supposed to be me and FN2K causing a ruckus in gaming. Silly me thought that after my first two episodes were received with appreciation from the gaming community that these other members would love to be a part of it. Nope. We don't even play games together and that is what FN2K is supposed to be about.

So . . Here I am repping a crew of gamers WHO DON'T PLAY GAMES. I'm so lame dude. Ever since episode 2 I've been scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas purely to keep my crew on the map. And for what? They don't watch my show, hear my podcast. In fact the people who promote my show (shout out to Rondell Exclusive) regularly, don't have a stake in FN2K.

Anyways, I digress. I'm just mad.  Mad because my passion takes time. Time I can't have to myself. I clear days off my schedule to get things done but every single fucking time I do, my girlfriend hijacks a huge chunk of it.  I booked a week off in the summer purely to work on projects and every day I was interrupted. I'm not picking on her just illustrating how difficult it's been to do anything recently. All the while I put everything else first which I admit I shouldn't have done.  So when I'm not dealing with slackers or complaints or people who constantly want attention and gold stars for doing their job, all I've been doing is turning off the world and playing video games.

Normally it is not an escape for me. But vegging out in the living room playing Dead Island or isolating myself in the back playing Minecraft is me taking time away from everything that has been getting under my skin. In a sense I'm taking back time that has been taken from me.

But my work and life has been suffering because I've been feeling sorry for myself recently. It took me far too long to get out of this funk but seeing as nobody wants to help me up, it's up to me yet again to pull myself to my feet. Now it's different. In the coming days I'm going to attempt to hitch my wagon to a locomotive that is gaining stream instead of losing it.  I don't want to jynx it or leak details yet but this power move might be the smartest decision I made recently. So wish me luck.

Street Prophet aka The Jaded Gamer

Follow me on twitter @IamFN2K

Gamers and relationships

If there is something I know well it's being in a relationship with non-gamer girls. 

In an upcoming episode of The Jaded Gamer's show I talk about co-existing in a functional relationship and keeping the woman in your life off your back. I recommend any gamer in a relationship check it out.

Make no mistake though. I deliberately undersold the amount of work and effort needed to make it work. I have to because if gamers knew the truth they might pass up the right person when they come along.

Let me put it like this. I own almost 200 current gen games between Ps3, 360 and PsP. I invest between 20 and 40 hours a week on games. I only sleep between 3 to 5 hours a night which inevitably leads to exhaustion. The last fit of exhaustion damn near crippled me. My legs would go numb at random. I couldn't think, didn't eat and didn't care about anything or anyone not even myself except for my next gaming session.

I don't have to live this way, I choose to. It keeps me happy and my girlfriend too so I'm happy to do it. But it is not easy. It's more give than take and I need other gamers in relationships to back me up. Nobody other than gamers take games seriously. If a stock broker tells you they are busy, you let them work. But when a gamer tells their partner the same they just don't listen. I'm interrupted all the time.

Let me explain without malice what I endure.

I've politely requested that my field of vision NOT be obscured when I'm playing a game. This is a small rule but is always broken. No matter the reason, if she wants to invade my personal space nothing stops her in spite of the worst time to do it is when the twin sticks are in my hand.  I have explained how much I hate it and now I put on a screwface and lean away annoyed but she still does it.

I used to play games with headphones on which I explained was a huge signal to leave me alone. I don't do that anymore. Here's why. She just walks up and starts talking to me oblivious to the fact I can't even hear her. And then I started hearing "I already told you blah blah blah..." It took me a minute to figure out she would tell me this stuff while my headphones were on. So now I play games without them for her... Problem solved.

Or is it? Just the other week my girlfriend who is an actual real actor in the biz, was running lines next to me. By running lines I mean reading them obnoxiously too loud thinking she's cute when all she is accomplishing is pissing me off. So I try to politely interject to tell her to tone it down I can't concentrate or hear what's going on. She doesn't even listen. She does what she always does and.tunes me right out and starts talking LOUDER! So now she can't even hear how aggravated she is making me because she WON'T SHUT UP long enough to hear what I'm saying. She was keen to not only ignore but talk over somebody communicating distress.

And this is minor petty stuff because I don't want to get too deep into it.  I have rational ethical issues with some of the choices she makes but I shut up and let her do her thing because well . . Do unto others.

After hearing similar (and worse) stories I decided I had to say to my gaming friends and fans who are in relationships; You are not alone!

I don't know how my relationship works. I don't know how her and I exist when she drives me nuts sometimes. The bastion of hope I cling to is simply she does not understand the conviction and dedication I have towards not just gaming but to the community too.  There is nothing I would rather do than entertain/enlighten you readers and viewers. I don't care who's birthday I have to miss to reach a deadline. I don't care how much time I have to put into editing or filming because I live to entertain. This is my passion in life and I'm lucky enough to be able to fuse entertaining and video games.

But let me flip it because here is my point. Chances are you are not like me. You don't game as often or even have the time to. You aren't trying to entertain anybody through games. At worst your partner interferes with a gaming session which let's be honest is remedied by a pause button. Imagine if it was your passion or career. Imagine how irate you would be. My point; if I can make this headache work and be happy at the same time then you as a simple gamer just aren't working hard enough. So shut this webpage and tell your partner you love them and spend time with him/her. 

Street Prophet aka The Jaded Gamer

@IamFN2K on Twitter

Growing up gamer

This is for gamers who may be under the impression that they grew up with games but kinda missed a few history classes on their way to college. I'll definitely be providing a visual aid for this in a future episode of The Jaded Gamer's show.

Age is a factor now and just because you are 15 and know everything it doesn't make you king. But seriously wait until the you at 25 looks back at the 10 year old games you used to play. The 10 year jump between 1980 to 1990 was far more drastic and 90 to 2000 was unreal. But now games are aging much better. They age so well that companies are able to polish them a little, add a reward system and knock the price down and people buy them like they are brand new.

Here's a test answer as many as you can honestly.

With the standardized controller we know today, what is the first game you remember playing with it?

Yoda's Revenge.

The Konami code and the first and last place you remember using it.

What do Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and and the first two GTA games have in common?

Final Fantasy ____ was skipped in North America?

Bonus: Final Fantasy 2 and 3 are actually numbered what in Japan.

Xenophobe?

MUDs?

BBS boards and L.O.R.D are what?

Kojima debuted Metal Gear on what system in North America?

Ness, Poo, Paula and Jeff belong to what franchise?

Name a Blizzard games that that doesn't have craft or diablo in it's title.

What system did Ninja Gaiden debut on?

Why did Fred Savage take his little brother to California?

Bonus: Name the peripheral and game that debuted in that movie.

Name a machine that played pong.

Without any peripherals or adaptors what was the first 4 player game you remember playing?

Qix?

Name the 3 game characters Zack Ward has played in his movies based on games.

Greatest line uttered in a movie based on a game?

I'll stop there. Now chances are the 30 and up crowd can get most, if not all of these. The 25 and up probably had to do a bit of retro gaming in the 80s.  Between 20 and 24 its a little more spotty but 18 and below start bottoming out real quick.

Here is the key to some of this. It is simply age. Games weren't played at home or online actively for a while even whem consoles got more popular. They were played at arcades. When was the last time you went to an arcade that was just an arcade? No bar, no restaurant, no movie theater... just video games back to front, a pool table, a soccer table and maybe air hockey. (This being Canada the table hockey thing was huge. Not air hockey. I know some Americans call air hockey "table hockey" actual table hockey is a similar concept to the soccer version)

Forget going to the store to buy a new game you have not lived until you walk into an arcade with your friends and the dookie enters your pants the moment you spot the new game machine.

I don't mean to sound like a geezer but you young whippersnappers don't know how good you have it.

IamFN2K aka The Jaded Gamer

I made "Kraft Dinner"™

Right now you're all "Huh?" So I'll get that outta the way. Kraft Dinner is KD and KD to a competitive gamer usually means Kill/Death ratio.  Now it's not as simple as me taking the abbreviation for Kraft Dinner that everybody knows and applying it to gaming. When I say a game is all about Kraft Dinner or it is a Kraft Dinner game... It is an insult. Here is how the phrase evolved.

Kraft Dinner is the standard which most other generic mac & cheese dinners that come in a box are judged by.  Kraft Dinner is an instant meal.  Instant macaroni, powdered cheese. Simple concept but nothing fancy. There is no "soul" to a kraft dinner meal yet people eat it a lot.  Kill Death is Kraft Dinner. They are both generic boxed concepts. But one is food.. The other costs 60 dollars. One is allowed to be generic (and possibly delicious) because it is cheap. The other better have some sort of innovation behind the KD.

So that's "Kraft Dinner".

But since we are on the topic of catch phrasery. .

I'd like to discuss "Ding!Platinum!" Now I wont be arrogant and say I invented the phrase because the "Ding!" Is really a shared experience between all Ps3 users. We may even yell Ding! After a trophy. Putting "ding!" and "platinum" together is practically public mindshare. Those of us with platinum trophies have probably said it. However, when most gamers get the trophy and hit the Twitter and forums to brag how do they describe it? I'll give you an example of the creativity. Some of these I wish I started.

"Went/gone Platinum."

"Platinum status on_____"

"Platinum unlocked"

"Platted/Plat'd"

"Plats/Platz 4"

"Chromed"

"P-bagged"

"Wearing platinum socks"

and on one occasion "Plaqued!"

I pretty much say "Ding! Platinum" or "I dinged platinum" (Even made a youtube video about it.

Yo, most vain and self wanking blog post ever!

IamFN2K aka The JadedGamer

Nintendo, What happened?

SEPT 12th UPDATE: ZOMG! These updates could be daily at this point. I saw the 3DS bathtub thumb stick. OK, so you're an ambassador with these games you might already own and some of them are ok. Sure. Point taken. But to release a console that is basically in beta for $250 then to release a peripheral that makes your non-ergonomic handheld more clunky and try to pitch it like a good thing is classic Nintendo. It's the Headphone jack for the Gameboy Advance SPCalafragilisticexbealidocious again!

AUG 23 UPDATE: Yet another update on this concept. Nintendo ALREADY rebranding the 3DS next year and adding a 2nd analog stick. And putting LESS emphasis on the reason you want it (3D) ... So now you're dropping cash on a 3D system that isn't stressing the 3 of D. Go on. Buy it. You know you wanna. How many people are going to buy it because they hate it when I'm right?

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: Nintendo strips backwards compatibility from Wii redesign!! HAHAHAHAHA *Fart*burp*cough* Before the Nintendo Defense Force gets their heads all spun like it is no big deal and says Sony did the same with PS3 let good ol JG tell you something. Sony did remove backwards compatibility, which sucked for us, very early on. What they didn't do was announce a new system and then remove functions from the current system. Now Nintendo pretty much has placed the Wii U as a must have item for that option. I love it.

How can a handheld that is barely six months old cripple your company's revenue for this quarter so bad that the CEO has to cut his salary by half? Seriously!

Up until now I would swear on anything that Nintendo fans were idiotic and blind sheep who would bend over and buy anything with the Nintendo branding on it. Yet it seems that they're reluctant to purchase this 3DS system which I hope woke Nintendo up a little.

Let's back up a little. Let us analyize how Nintendo only wants one thing, your money. The Wii out sold everything and their first party games destroy any and every third party title. What was the fan's reward for making that thing a sensation? Buy these pieces of plastic at 20 dollars a pop to turn your remote into a steering wheel, a gun or a damn lightsaber then drop some more money on the analog stick they forgot to put on in the first place. If that is not enough they wan you to drop more money on another peripheral to make the motion control what it should have been right out the box. Jeez, just keep upgrading your PC.. It's way cheaper.

Now let's look at the evolution of the DS. It was ugly at first so they came out with the DSL.. Then the DSi ..Then the DS XL. I feel sorry for anyone that bought all 4 iterations only to have Nintendo say "We know a lot of you just go a DS but in few months we are releasing a better version that is 3D sans spectacles. ZOMGJIMP! The thing lost the GBA port .. Who cares right? But wait.. As inscentive to purchase it before the price drop they offer you a wide selection of games for download for free. Now I ask you Nintendo fans this with zero malice or sarcasm? How many of those free games do you already own even if its on other nintendo platforms? It's ok to say "most of them but I got others for free" that's cool. I went through that with Sony's welcome back program. I owned all but two of the Ps3 titles and any title they offered for free on PsP I already owned or didn't want. So I settled for the digital copy of two games I already own. But if any of you early adopters really honestly think those "free" games are only exclusive to you and the rest of the 3DS community wont have a chance to even buy them....Keep dreaming of yourself jumping over that fence.

Nintendo not only wants your money, they now have even more reason to find new ways to get it.

But once again I'm glad the 3DS is not selling wildly with a slew of shovelware and 2 decent games. Maybe next year when the Wii U happens Nintendo will deliver the goods like they used to.

I don't want them to fail but if a system has to sell crazy then they have their minds a little too deep in your pockets guys.

IamFN2K aka The Jaded Gamer

Take a hint from Kojima!

Do you like the Metal Gear Solid franchise? Not everybody does. It is a tough series to like if it isn't your thing and me explaining it now probably will not spur you to jump out of your seats and play the franchise. But if you do decide to play through it... DO NOT START WITH MGS: TWIN SNAKES!  In a nut shell they turned Solid Snake into Neo and have him do the most *R-worded* things. And considering how messed up and absurd the plot gets... That says a lot about how stupid Twin Snakes made the series.

But if there is one indisputable fact about the series... Each game is different in a major way somehow. Kojima productions knows how to do sequels.  Each installment brings either a new take on the series or a new convention every time!

Remember the jump from Doom 1 to 2? What changed? 1 New gun.. and a handful of new enemies and everything else was pretty much assets from the last game.

MGS 2 from 1 improves on every aspect of the previous model even if it turned out to be Kojima saying "See.. I CAN make the same game again and you wont know it til I tell you."

Then Metal Gear Solid 3 comes out and shifts what you are used to and adds more meta type stuff. There is a camouflage meter so you know exactly how hidden you are. The sound is much better and realistic so you can now move through bushes in loud environments without the enemy hearing your footsteps. Let's face it. Metal Gear solids "view cone" made the game seem like stealth pac-man at times. Sound didn't matter so much as you being spotted.  In 3 you have to stay hidden and quiet.

The gadgets in 3 are also more handy by virtue of the fact they are old school meaning that you cant just simply look at a radar, find your foe, point and shoot.  More strategy is involved. The classic boss sniper battle against The End can last 10 minutes or over an hour just by what gadgets you use to track your enemy.  The game has a Cabelis game hunter vibe to it as well. You hunt wildlife for food if you are low on rations. The food can even spoil if left untouched which you can now use to poison hungry soldiers when you blow up their food supplies. There is even a boss you can use that strategy against. 3 is arguably the finest entry into the series.

Metal Gear Solid 4 is definitely lip service to fans. It is very well designed but extremely story heavy which has always been a complaint about the series. And the end game cut scene is pretty much an entire movie. But those mild itches aside, it really is a great journey filled with twists and nostalgia. It may not have the meta elements that 3 did but the battlefield is also very different. There are less places to hide but due to Snake's Octocamo he can hide right out in the open. It is difficult to put my finger on what is so different about 4. But I think the return to form is what makes 4 different. It clashes old and new ideas seamlessly. It is just as modern as it is classic.

Then there is Peace Walker. The best thing about Peace Walker is the one thing missing from portable ops... Co-op multiplayer. Standard missions are 2 player but boss fights against heavy artillery are 4 player skirmishes that are Kojima doing his best to capture the intensity of a Monster Hunter fight. The ability to recruit and upgrade soldiers and their weapons adds tremendous amounts of depth to the game.  I personally don't just want peace walker in HD... But Peace Walker 2 on Ps3 AND the Vita.

Metal Gear Solid is one of the few franchises that makes every sequel feel like it could be a new game not just a grapically superior version of the last entry in the series.

What say you gameland?

IamFN2K aka The Jaded Gamer

Sorry bout the hostility

As of late I've been throwing a lot of aggression towards fanboys of all sorts and I just want to take a second to let the dust settle.

This is one of those rare moments where I will apologize for possibly offending any readers of my blog (www.TheJadedGamer.tk just in case you are reading this through an rss import like facebook). So I'm sorry if I got under your skin.

The bottom line for me are the games. I don't care where you play them but just as proof that my head is not up my own ass, allow me to play devil's advocate against myself with regards to other topics.

Pc gaming

So not many people know or remember that during the N64 - Dreamcast era I played  PC games mostly and slowed down when I got a ps2/xbox. Truth is I always preferred console gaming but RTS games and FPS games were still pretty clumsy on consoles.

Rather than even try to wrestle with counter-strike online, starcraft on 64 or Red Alert on Playstation... I played them on pc. Also I played anything from Blizzard catalogue, Black & White, Summoner, Evolva, Messiah, Angel Devoid, Some Myst, Doom games, Duke Nukem 2D and 3D, Unreal Tournament, Quake games, Team Fortress, Unreal Gold Co-op, Half Life and some mods, Soldier of Fortune, Noone Lives Forever, Hitman and others that have slipped my mind at the moment.

Obviously I appreciate what PC gaming brings to the table. Consoles hadn't monotized DLC yet so when the developers put out extra content that was not an expansion.. IT WAS FREE. Any gamer born in the mid 90's probably has no clue that DLC used to be free till consoles screwed that up. I know in some cases that fact still stands.  Back then the mods and free content was something consoles didn't and still don't have so hell yeah PC gamers have to be stoked about that.

Also since developers get more room to make games on PC the most original titles really began there. I'm referring to the underground indie scene that popped up. Indie devs still thrive because they can put out a game for free and generate a fanbase. That is still a pipe dream on console which is why indie console devs spend a lot of time cracking the system to make underground games to run on it. Those random games made life enjoyable on PC while you were waiting for the next mega hit.

PC gaming has its advantages and people still prefer mouse and keys which is fine. If all of the above is what gives the PC the edge in your eyes, that is great. Just remember it makes pc gaming different not better.

Blizzard makes me shudder

There is nothing I can do to deny how I feel about Blizzard. They make great games regardless of what they put in and take out. My only problem with them is them recycling the same idea over and over. I have played the crappy half assed console clones of their games and even though they don't compare they at least try to advance the genre. In consoleland recycling the same idea happens in much quicker intervals so the genre has to freshen up or die out faster. But since Blizzard works for years on the same concept it always feels new because its been 5 years since you played a new ______ game.  There is nothing wrong with that. It's the "If it aint broke don't fix it." and you have to be stupid to think they are not skilled at making the same concept seem fresh. That means the game itself is timeless. That is amazing to have 4 base games and have them all be killer apps.

So you see... I'm not that big of a jerk

IamFN2K aka The Jaded Gamer