DLC and R-words.

I like blizzard games. Just a reminder.

Anyway. EA. I'm looking right at you now. Sure you publish great games and I would even be so bold as to suggest that any gamer with more than 10 games in all probability has more EA published games than non EA ones. EA and Activision (and more often now take two or (is it 2K?) are popping up more often.

But you EA... Have by far thee WORST and most foul DLC on the planet. Seriously. Sometimes I want to cut your faces off with sharkfists and wear them to your family's house just to see if they notice!

I've witnessed on disc content unlocks for games I've bought used. Fine. You want to prevent piracy and get your cut of the used market. I am on your side.  However! When I see a DLC for a "New game mode" it better not be a 100 KB file unlocking Bare Knuckle boxing or cars that are actually in the game. DLC should always be additional content.

LittleBigPlanet has similar problems I dont come down on media molecule as bad because they kinda shot themselves in the foot for DLC because over 3 million levels are availible online.

My biggest peeve is the fact ppl buy this shit enough that EA makes money.  Sure I'm guilty of succumbing to the pressures of having to purchase stronger guns to beat Dead Space on impossible. (I'm so fatigued with the franchise I cant do it)

But where does this trend of selling cheat codes stop?  Where is the line on selling me content on the disc twice?

What say you gamers? Do you wanna pay 99 cents for the Konami code or 1.99 to unlock an alternate sports jersey that exists on the disc?

I like Blizz games ok

I've caught a lot of attention recently for what people think is picking on Blizzard.  Personally I think some of you are stupid. Especially the person who said Blizzard has a good development cycle because they have a ton of money.

So let me clear the air.

In my eyes a good development cycle has a deadline.  You have a project, you look at your team and say it takes X amount of months to make this so the release date is _________.  They may not announce the date right away but they can give a time frame I.e Borderlands 2  Q3 2012.  Blizzard says... "It will come out when it's done."

This is NOT a good development cycle.  This is the opposite extreme of the Duke Nukem Forever release. But at least they would give a date amidst the excuses. (And Mac users get to witness the suck for themselves Aug 18)  But guess what?  I bet Gearbox or whoever wants the rights to it will make another DN game within 5 years.

Whoops! Where was I? Oh. Dev cycle.  But I can hear you now. "But when it's done it's soooooo good?"  That's right. They are good. But compared to what?  Its purely "fans of the genre" that they specialize in. Fans of the genre will be fans of this genre.  Look me in the eye and tell me with a straight face that Diablo 2 is not Diablo 1 with a graphics bump and the standard bigger, badder, harder and longer gameplay enhancements. There were bonuses and cool stuff but essentially you are playing a less ass-tasting version of the previous installment that tasted pretty damn good.  The jump to Warcraft 3 from 2 was a bigger leap and stretch for Blizzard but its essentially the same game with different strategies because of new races and units.

They are all well made games. I dont have a problem with their quality. I've played,enough non-blizzard games and clones to have a higher standard of gameplay by now and I hoped most would feel the same.

My beef with WoW is that its way too user friendly for my liking. By no means do I mean its easy. But there is a significant amount of increased simplicity in WoW than say EverQuest. Before I continue... Yes... WoW might be a better product than EQ but it better be when you have years to improve and fans so loyal they follow like lemmings.  That is in fact a portion of why WoW is a success regardless of the fact its good. BUT in EQ... There was a moment around level 30 or so that every single time you level up you felt like you had to jump over the flippen moon to do it. The grind!  OH MY GOD THE GRIND! It was rare to see a whole bunch of characters in one area at the level cap. In fact.. When you saw a character at the cap it was not uncommon to stop them and ask to pose for a screenshot.  You knew most of the top level guys by name because threre were so few. Thats what made it awesome.

But with expansions come balancing issues with new classes and races so naturally characters got buffed, nerfed and invalidated. Exploits were found, leveling became easier due to complaints from growing popularity.  Walking around at level 80 doesn't mean much to me cuz its not impossible. Just play.

I don't dislike any Blizzard product. There is alot of care that goes into every game.

Now recently my only actual for real problem with Blizzard is how IMO they are losing touch with their fans... and then act bewildered. "Oh our fans DON'T like us removing functionality from our games?" (Offline/LAN)

THAT is my problem with THEM. I like the games. I'm sure Diablo 3 will be fine. I'm just not going to reward them for removing something that has been pretty much standardized on PC. Their excuse of giving me the best experience when they really mean the best DRM. Just come out and say... The DRM requires you to be online for validation... And I would say "That sucks. But you're just protecting your IP"

Something tells me even those who are mad will still buy the product and Blizzard will keep selling ice to penguins. And more power to them

Sony rides 360’s D AGAIN!

First Sony put their own spin on the Xbox 360’s Achievement system. (You’re welcome Steam and WoW) Personally I prefer Trophies to the Achievement system.  It’s a neater system that doesn’t make your gamerscore look like a phone number.  I mean it looks impressive but you don’t really get a sense of how awesome it is.  You see somebody with a Platinum trophy… You know exactly what that means.

But then Sony adds Playstation Plus… Which is a slightly better deal that Xbox Live Gold in very small ways but Live Gold is still probably the best “premium price” online service.

But now… Sony talks about PSN Play… If you have a 360 you know PSN play is nothing more than stealing Microsoft’s Summer of Arcade idea.  Buy 4 games and get the 5th for free.

Sony.  The PS3 is still my favourite system.  But the more and more I say “Sony” the worse my breath smells.

Who's dumber?: The media, The parents or The gamers

As a general disclaimer.. These blog posts are done remotely with a wifi tablet and no keyboard. I use auto spell and slide my finger around the virtual keyboard.

In the upcoming episode of The Jaded Gamer's show you will see me present a different side and much more PG friendly version of this topic. (Dont worry. The episode after will be back to being rated M.)

The next episode in question was filmed primarily in 2009 a year after Brandon Crisp died. (if you dont know or remember Crisp... You will) If you don't believe me then look at the continuity with my hair, gotee and 1up t-shirt.

Anyways. One thing that affects gamers more and more often is addiction. The consequences of this addiction can be tame like maybe you stood up your date or skipped class or work for a day.  I myself on several occasions  have called in sick for Day 1-Zero Hour releases. (Which means buying the game the day it comes out the moment the store opens) And infamously skipped 88 days of school in my senior year to play EverQuest.  Doesn't it sound like I have at least a mild addiction to games?  Then how did I graduate? How did I go through college? How do I keep paying my bills on time?  It's time for a heart to heart

The average gamer is in their 30's now so for every Daniel Petric (17) there are a million legit responsible gamers who do not act out.  Fox News doesn't talk about www.WhatTheyPlay.com ... NBC and CTV do not report about gamers and developers raising relief for Japan through www.PlayForJapan.org.  But if there is sideboob, Fox calls it pornography when more titty exists in iCarly (google it) and when a kid runs away and falls out of a tree CBC blames the video game industry.

Tell you what media... instead of asking Sony, Nintendo, Microsoft and the ESRB what they can do to keep violent sexy games out of underage gamers hands, why don't you ask the parents?   Would you drop your 15 year old off with a 6 pack of beer at a strip club? 

Parents need to be educated on the subject of video games.  Personally I thought the media would be doing this but they do more harm than good by trying to educate the public.

Here is my point.  The media kinda says "Video games are bad mmkay." But then the parents buy said bad games for their underage kids so they can play it in their room. Don't you parents even care what you just bought for your kid?  9 times out of 10 if I was playing an M rated game, I had a parent  close by. Why? My parents obviously liked me.

OK. So what about gamers? Shouldn't they take some blame? Hell yeah!

Daniel Petric murdered his mother and shot his father after they took away his Halo 3 disc. That kid is messed.  I'm not picking on Blizzard here but they have fans that take pathetic to new levels of sadness. 99.9% of Blizzard's users are probably decent and live normal lives. But because every game is made to be diverse or immersive or engaging, some users  won't stop playing it. And Blizzard couldn't care less (Why should they? They aren't your parents.) Blizzard isnt stupid. They add more to their games to engross the user more. A buddy of mine calls Blizzard products a "completionist nightmare" I agree with him especially with World of Warcraft.  Its a huge gaming space with a lot to do.  There are even special achievements given out. Dozens if not over a hundred of them to collect. Somebody who wants every last one is going to have to pour a lot of time into the game.  But here is the thing.

WoW does have an end game but that doesn't mean you completed it.  In fact I would argue that you're not supposed to get every last thing in a Blizzard game. That's why its a nightmare because some gamers cant grasp that the game is that big because you're supposed to have your own adventure and experience it your own way.  Additionally I would also say getting everything in a Blizzard game is more a tragedy than an accomplishment. 

But here is where I'm going with my Blizzard point. Blizzard makes good games you want to play.  Your body isn't really made to be sitting stationary for long periods of time every day.  After a while musculoskeletal dystrophy starts killing you. Blot clots might form and hit your heart... Boom ... Death.

This isn't exclusive to hardcore Blizzard gamers. This applies to gamers like me who marathon games on the constant. Its just that Blizzard makes games that you can play for hours or days and that may be only one quest or a really tough skirmish in StarCraft. 

So how stupid do you have to be to sit in one place before you realize you're dying or that you are having a heart attack or that your infant stopped crying...  because it died... of starvation... during your 3 day boss fight in FF 11.

How dumb do you have to be to send your teen into the freezing Canadian wilderness and expect nothing to happen? (Comments like this are why WTFIJ insisted I edit the hell out of the next episode and watch my mouth. Grrr)

How ignorant are you to blame an interactive medium for "teaching" kids poor morals when the parents endorse it?

Seriously how pathetic is it that nobody can take responsibility for this? It's always the game's fault right?

Gamer vs Game player Part 2: The knowledge

The Konami code, the Capcom code, Super Mario Brothers: The Lost Levels, Robotron, Final Fantasy numbers, games like True Crime: Hong Kong that get retrofitted and the term retrofit itself is knowledge gamers just know by being gamers.

One of the traits of being a gamer is understanding the industry and being able to explain it beyond your opinions and break aspects down. As an example consider this.  Stephen King writes for a publisher like Random House or something. Random house prints the book and it's a great book. Do you buy the next book you see from Random House or the next book from Stephen King? You buy the King book right?  Well how about this? Team Bondi made L.A Noire... Rockstar published it in North America. I ran into a friend on the bus who claims to game and know games well but actually argued that L.A Noire is a good game because Rockstar made it.  The thing is they didn't make it... Bethesda didnt make Fallout New Vegas... EA didnt make Dead space, Mass Effect or Hot Pursuit and Square-Enix did not make Just Cause 2.

In general everybody should know the difference between the developers and the publishers now because the company's names are all over the box and splash screens. But when gamers themselves say a game is good because a publisher developed it I want nothing more than to break your jaw. Nothing is more infuriating than somebody being completely wrong.

God of War is published by Capcom in japan. Grab your GoW game case and see if it says that. Do Japanese people think Capcom made it and not Santa Monica studios (Owned by Sony I think)? 

So if you are the type to read a name off the box and say Gamebryo makes great games you should take a closer look at your gamecase. (Gamebryo ports Bethesdas games to PS3)

Activision bought Blizzard. NOT vice versa.  I know you Blizzard fanboys love thinking that Blizzard owns the gaming industry and they are super loaded because WoW gave them more money than God. Shut...the...front...door and read the articles again.  All the money Blizzard makes a year wouldnt cover the amount of money Activision needs to make every 3 months. AND consider the fact Blizzard just might have needed the merge to stay in business. Blizzard doesnt have a good development cycle and they spend crazy money on research. The more users playing their games the more server maintenance costs. Yes Blizzard generates money but if you think they make more than EA, Activision or Nintendo as publishers then you are smokin the good stuff.

Seriously... Only gamers can really grasp how wicked stupid you sound.

Gamers dont need instruction manuals for the most part.  We figure that shit out in the first hour of the game. Now though you may be a gamer there is no shame to RTFM but if you think you don't need a manual and your first question about the game starts with "How do I...?" then just RTFM you obviously are new to this type of game.  Since most games start with tutorials that should quell any questions.

The PS3 doesn't use letters for it's face buttons... Its not an X or O its a cross and circle. Now you can call the cross button X, thats fine. Dont call the circle an O. Its like outting yourself as a noob. In short, gamers know every button on the controller to the point we can say stuff like "Hit cancel and ready up for the match" and we know "hitting cancel" means hitting circle or B and to ready up we hit cross or A. Game players still need time to learn what buttons do in each genre.. Gamers know what button does what we just need to know what to do... Not what to press to do it.

Being a gamer is much more of a hobby than it ever was. And just like anyone who is good at any craft, we take exceptions with people wearinbg the title

Gamer vs. Game player Part 1: The swagger

I'm drawing the line in the sand for all us actual real gamers.  I feel like now is the time because gaming is really popular at the moment and there are a lot of people out there who may not realize they sound silly or are annoying gamers by trying to be one of them.  Over the last year or so I've met too many "gamers" who's claim to game is stuff like Wii sports, Angry Birds and Just Dance.

Thanks to the Wii, IPhone, Ipad and facebook many people are under the impression that you are gamers.  Be real.  Being a "Gamer" is a badge of honor and courage that you earn through years of honing your skills and being informed about games themselves.

I give PC gamers a lot of trolling because its really like watching the hot girl from high school turn into a troll as she ages. But she doesn't own a mirror or been outside.  PC gamers are cute to me. They brag about how pretty their games are or how consoles wont get to enjoy games like Minecraft. *cough*  But as silly as I *think* PC is as a platform, their claim to game is legit.  A lot of the games I play either are multi platform with pc or even ported to/from it.  Even though I probably play a wider variety of games than a PC gamer Steam is changing that rapidly and bringing pc gaming back. Kudos.

But just cuz you lost your life playing WoW or Facebook Bejeweled you dont get to call yourself a gamer cuz its the fad right now.  You are a game player. Its the difference between being a soccer player and knowing how to play soccer.  In the gaming community the formal title is "Casual" gamer. Informally the ones marked as posers are referred to as lamers, llamas and noobs.

Gamers communicate through a lot of lingo a lot of game players just dont know. And you will not learn the lingo unless you become a gamer. Its like a rite of passage.  Its been a long time since I spent time in an MMORPG but can still tell you what buffed, nerfed, AoE, HP, MP, XP, EXP, DPS, DoT, hammering, toon, mule and other lingo means. I can probably tell you about most genres and explain in vivid detail the difference between a horror game and survival horror game.  Whats the difference between Western and JRPGs? If you can't even attempt to explain the difference you are probably not a gamer.

Gamers talk about games...not "a" game... Games. So if you can tell me everything about one game... Thats cool but if thats where your knowledge stops then you are still a softcore gamer.  Nothin wrong with that but dont think you can hang with gamers at a LAN if they arent playin your game of choice.

How would you feel if you spent literally most of your life being teased for being a nerd only to have some noob pick up the sticks (or mouse and keys for my pc gaming buds) play Bejeweled or some other gaming fad like kinect or wii and all of a sudden claim to be a gamer? It would get on your nerves too.  Thats the reality a lot of gamers are facing today.

To be continued...

Blizzard makes me shudder

I used to love Blizzard games and products… But with Diablo 2 and WarCraft 3 I felt like they shipped me the same game I played last time around with better window dressing. 

I don’t mean I felt ripped off with Diablo 2 or Warcraft 3.  I mean I feel like all they did with both those games was add a little here/there and put a new Roman numeral at the end.  Then at World of Warcaft I couldn’t stomach another MMO that had Everquest’s DNA.

And then that was it for me.  Somewhere around 2003 I cashed in my PC gamer card for good and traded Counter-Strike, Blizzard, Epic and Valve games in for the likes of Square-Enix, Bioware and Konami.  Why?  Final Fantasy, Knights of the Old Republic & Metal Gear Solid were all on the Playstation 2.  Then I realized more genres of games exist.  Not everything is a shitty FPS, a button mashing RPG or the same fucking RTS you just played last year but with TWO NEW UNITS! ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GAWD! Two new units?!? Wrap a game around them call it Whatever/Whatever 2: Shitty Subtitle (Now a days those 2 new units are 5.99 DLC apiece)

I’m just tired of Blizzard using it’s money to … what DO they do with their money? They have an amazing R&D department and have possibly hired a PS3 designer for (???).  Nobody knows why?  Blizzard isn’t talking.  Which is lame.  They can dangle the carrot for somebody else because I don’t care anymore. 

I can’t even say Blizzard is doing anything wrong from a developer standpoint… but I don’t feel appreciated as a gamer by them.  As days go by every sort of Blizzard related news story usually has something to do with removing a function I like from a game or them “innovating” on new ways to take my flippen cash. . . Like cross-server pay (I omitted an “'l” in “pay” on purpose).  .

Actually I don’t care… I just realized it doesn’t make a difference because no matter what they do I’m just gonna throw a hissy fit and blog about it.

Cheers.