1/4th of gamers appear to be stupid - CONFIRMED

Look. I don’t like dissing gamers.  Most gamers just want to have a good time and have fun.  For the most part this blog’s title is just an eye catcher for anyone who’s into gaming.  Rest assured that one quarter gamers are not stupid.  Any true gamer knows the number is higher. (And even saying that is kind of an in joke)  Anyways…

It seems like 25 percent of the respondents (thus far) on GameFaqs’ latest poll think Activision-Blizzard’s merger is most beneficial to gamers.  While they are most certainly entitled to their opinion.. I wonder if this isn’t primarily fanboyism at work.

Even though 51% percent of these gamers are in the correct camp by voting for the powerhouse God of all gaming mergers Square+Enix+Taito+Eidos.   Now, I myself have been critical of Square-Enix because of Final Fantasy 13. And how if you actually take the time and count it out, Square has either developed more mediocre-decent games than crazy awesome ones.  But you know what… man do they keep you entertained.  You’ll find a lot of fans only play Square-Enix branded stuff because they feel they are getting the best JRPG (They’re not) experience.  Anyways this has nothing to do with my point.

I just want to know one thing. How does anything other than the assurance that Blizzard can continue making the same game(s) for another 15 years benefit the gamer?(Yeah I fuckin said it. Count the diversity between RTS, W-RPG and MMORG) Yeah maybe they make some great games. But all the deal does is ensure they’ll have the backing to continue making the same shit repeatedly. Its good shit though, it really is.

Whereas at Square-Enix (Japanese) has Taito (Also Japanese) now has Eidos in their talent pool… means so much more to gamers.  Tomb Raider and Hitman games will get new life fuel injected into them by the old and new talent.  DragonQuest now gets Square Wisdom… and vice versa.  I guess for Taito the next Lufia game will be sick.  Anyways.  What am I missing about this Activision-Blizzard Merger?  Are they doing Dope-Ass-PSP-Games-disguised-as-a-full-on-sequel? The answer is no my friend. It should also be noted that this was going to be a cellphone game in Japan. .  needless to say … whoa.

Anyways, if somebody could explain to me what such a predominant section of the gaming population sees as beneficial to them in that merger that would be super cool. THANX… BWYE!

JG

I can finally talk about Heavy Rain

Ok.  I have a friend that really wanted to play this game.  Though it came out a while ago, he finally got it played through it.  So I can finally talk about it.

First! It’s a very well constructed game, plays well and blah blah blah.. go to metacritic for the aggregate. 

Second I need to go play Omikron (Cage’s first game)

Third. This game story doesn’t just have plot-holes where a truck could pass through… this game has plot holes that devour solar systems.   I’m still not going to spoil anything but I’m not gonna shit on any aspect of the game before my friend completes it.

On my first successful completion of the game (after revealing that ____ _____ is the killer) I accidentally failed one QTE and failed the 2nd one on purpose just to let _____ _____ get away with it all and see if I got a trophy.  I didn’t because I left Lauren alive. Oops.  Anyways… after getting the ending… I started to realize a few things…  then playing through as _____ ______ I realized even more.

This game was meant to be played/viewed once so you don’t realize that portions of it don’t make sense. OK Before Cagers freak out and say “He plans to fill in the holes with DLC”  To you I say “Prove to me that was his idea from the get-go”  and once you fail at that I ask you why the only DLC is content that was cut from the game? THEN I ask you why this article makes Cage look either like an asshole or an idiot.  You don’t even have to click on it.. I’ll get the quote ready 

“We won't release the end of the game as DLC that you need to pay for.”

That’s right.. Just one short fucking chapter you cut from the game.  But wait there’s more…

“But we are talking with Sony at the moment about having maybe extra downloadable content, maybe with prequels or sequels about the characters.”

MAYBE? – 1) That shit’s a no brainer.  2) Olivia Munn is a fox.  3) This should have been on your little development table once you realized A) Ethan’s blackouts are unneeded and irrelevant.  B) Shelby Has asthma. (You’ll understand if you don’t already) C) Tripto my friend… everybody wants to know WTFIJ with the Tripto? It’s good, its bad NOBODY KNOWS… so many ways to expand the game. 

Well I guess the concern was that nobody would be playing it a few  MONTHS FROM NOW. And the game came out at the end of February.

Man, I went off the wall.. .All I’m saying is that Cage needs to hire a writer to write his idea.  I’m just tired of these ridiculous plot holes.  Seriously.. the last half of Indigo Prophecy gets absurd.  Luckily this is not nearly as bad.  . . But in some ways, still just as silly.

PS3 vs 360 – Final Round

OK this is it. Game Over.

After spending absolutely absurd amounts of time with both, I get to finally be the definitive bi-partisan juror.  I’m a gaming fanboy.

For the purposes of this comparison I’ve assumed both of these objects will and always work at the best they can.

Now most of the stuff you read is true.  Most games other than exclusives tend to look better somehow on the 360.  However the tide is slowly turning.  The Exclusives will always look better on the PS3…  The thing is more powerful.  END OF DISCUSSION.  Google it.

PS3… It only does everything.  You’ve seen the commercials. I don’t need to tell you what it does but it does a lot more than you think it does.   There are programs that sync it with your PC(s) so you can stream media.  You also have the added option of syncing it with a PSP should you own one.  Though few games take full advantage of the connectivity .. but even the PS2 supports that.   What you may not know is.. REMOTE PLAY…  You can actually PLAY games through Wifi or Internet on your PSP FROM your PS3.  (Currently to my knowledge a few PSN titles and all PSOne Originals can be streamed this way)  The PS3 wins because the Xbox has nothing that compares to this.

XBL (Silver) vs PSN
Not worth it… Either buy a PS3 or get gold
(Seriously)

XBL (Gold) Vs. PSN
Both of these experiences are pretty much the same. It is all about content. A lot of the content even swaps spaces.  It is all about what you want.  Do you want to play classics from the PC era like Doom or Duke Nukem?  Does Castle Crashers sound fun or does Fat Princess?  Some research can be done to see what is available on each side but both offer a robust line up of stuff.   What sets them apart is the lack of the Party chat system (which you need XBL Gold to do) where you can play Fallout 3 and talk to your buddy playing Final Fantasy 13. PS3 users will come to call this X (Cross) game chat or just simply Xchat when they get it.  Then there is the fact that the PS3 has a full on browser and I hear people watch Hulu on it… The 360 has no equivalent.  But then you can use twitter and facebook on the 360 (Which you have to have XBL Gold) … or you could just open up your browser on the PS3…. It’s pretty weak to charge your users to do this but Microsoft does it and people pay it.  Kudos to sony for being and staying free. PS3 wins but I guess some would say its close.

WHOA WHOA WHOA! sdjfhdslkhfslhflsdkhf  Wait a sec. The 360’s fanbase is A LOT more willing to play online. (It’s just a fact… they pay to play) Any multiplayer game you have… go online and your friends list will get jam packed. I tend to co-op so I don’t make friends too swiftly.  PS3 may win just because it does everything for free but if you actually want to play with people who really want to play with people who want to play you will play on the 360.  AND THAT is the bottom line.

The PS3 is a better and more reliable system.  But the bottom line is the 360 is a gaming platform and it does the game experience slightly better for a price.  The PS3 does the the whole game experience but at times its less-than-motivated online community kill a game prematurely.

ULTIMATE WINNER: PLAYSTATION 3 … But the victory is likened to one person standing up slightly faster than the other during a standing 10 count.

JUDGES
JG – PS3-9.5     360-8.0
SP – 360-9.5     PS3-8.0
CZ – PS3-10      360-9.0

\

PS3 vs. 360: Final Round – Pre-show

I must explain a few things.  However, before I do, you as a gamer need to just accept a few truths about me and my gaming habits.  One being I’m not entirely loyal to one specific system during any cycle. 

Now before people think I’m back peddling, you’ll see in a minute I’m not.  Many people have this idea that I’m a PS3 fanboy. And while for a few months in 08 I joked that I was “THE PS3 fanboy”. That was meant as a tongue and cheek joke.  Because a lot of 360 fanboys just seemed as stupid as their PS3 counter-parts and since I owned a PS3 and a PSP.. I didn’t want the wrong fanboy to represent the community.  Regardless, I’ve since dropped the moniker and sung my poorly-auto-spelled-tweets-from-a-cell-phone praises of the PS3.  I sing praise of the PS3 in the moments that it shines.  I’ve explained why I bought it first.  But make no mistake.  I’m not Sony’s bitch nor am I PS3’s fanboy.  I’ve criticized their developers, and made SEVERAL cracks on social sites about PSN users being and QUOTE: “Prissy little bitches”   But they are not any more prissy, less little nor lesser bitches than the masterminds than inhabit the realm of 360.  The difference is… these users WANT to play games online.  Now people say I’m much more critical of the 360.. Of course I am.. Its why I bought it second…

Finally, I didn’t really sing 360 praises because it does what its supposed to do (finally) and that is not an accomplishment.

So I think I’m one of the few people qualified to judge or even weigh in on this 360 vs PS3 thing.  Wii and DS don’t factor in for me. I’m a grown ass man.

I bite my thumb at you…

I’m going to say something that may confuse a lot of people.

GAMING BORES THE SHIT OUTTA ME!

Hence the moniker: Jaded Gamer.
Granted, the capitalized statement above is a gross exaggeration of how I feel, but ultimately, I can’t say I am absolutely immersed in games anymore.

I have over 100 games now between my PSP/PS3 with both at them at almost a dead 50/50 split but its been a while since I did an official audit. I think I’m actually going to do a scoreboard between the dualling systems.  Anyways, My point is, out of a 100 games I can think of so few that are timeless.

As a gamer my skillset has reached a plateau. I don’t feel too challenged as a gamer.  I’m fairly old-school.  Meaning I didn’t drop 60 dollars on a game to have my ass handed to me by early adopters and beta testers. I don’t care about getting THAT good.  I’ll shoot around matches here and there and fair from the middle of the pack downward. I don’t hide the fact that I’m not exceptional at first/third person deathmatch type stuff.

Well, I’m not that good because I’m just not that interested in it. Fight Night is about the closest thing you’ll get to a serious competitive fight from me. (PROTIP: If you can knock me down twice, you’ll win the fight. I can’t ever figure out how to get up after that.  DOUBLE PROTIP: It might be really difficult to knock me down in the first place)

Now the whole single player aspect of gaming is starting to get so boring as well.  I still find it WAY WAY more fun than going online and shooting people in the face. For instance, as soon as you make any game co-op… You double or even triple the fun factor. 

As far as I’m concerned, every game needs a player two.  Remember when finding a one player game was difficult? Role playing games and side scrollers from time to time would be single player (Kid Icarus, Metroid) But everything else.. (Ice Climber, Pac-man, Super Mario Brothers, Gyromite, Double Dragon, Contra, Battle Toads, Final Fight, Streets of Rage and it died at 32 bit)

Games like Resident Evil, Silent Hill and Metal Gear Solid came in and killed each respective genre. (I can’t remember a time when Resident Evil was scary.. Seriously… Silent Hill was the first game to freak me out.. Followed by Fatal Frame.. and thats it)

Of the recent kick ass games (Which you’ll hear about shortly in Episodes 3 and 4) I can recall… BAYONETTA!

Case and Point.  I liked Devil May Cry and Onimusha but still felt like the combat was a little janky which really removed me from the game a lot.  They were and still are fun to play but when you’re attacking by the numbers that you can pretty much count in rhythm with it.. it loses a little something. But Bayonetta comes along and absolutely smashes it.  First of all… I’m sayin it… Bayonetta’s a hot game.  It’s a little awkward to watch at times but the character just bleeds sexuality with everything she does.  So as you’re kicking serious quantities of ass (go back to back platinum on some of the parts in chapter 13… That’s serious quantity of ass kickery) it feels sexy.

Resident Evil 5. . . Fuckin KUDOS! I’ve sank well over 100 hours into that thing. And I will continue to sink more.  Co-op makes it fun. It being well-constructed makes it even better, the downloadable content is an even bigger added bonus.

Borderlands! .. I totally think they could have done more with this but I await B-lands 2.. I’d still play a lot (and I mean a lot) more of the last two if my friends did as well.

So what’s your take on this… What does it for you?

Don’t confuse PSN with MSN – a FAQ sheet

Howdy folks!

Thank you all for being patient as it is taking me too flippen long to put out more episodes.  Even the games I review/am reviewing are a little stale.  I’ll promise to get episodes 3 & 4 out ASAP!

But I deleted a couple dozen people off my PSN list and its been nothing but backlash.

I’ve made bold statements about PSN users being prissy little bitches… and we are.  No matter what our trophy score or how many platinum trophies we do or don’t have, we snub every other gamer as if they fail to meet our standards.

I split my list into two groups.  Gamers and Fans…
Fans never get deleted… Gamers do.  Fans are fans of my “stuff” gamers are people who add me to play games.

Due to the prissy bitch factor, many people are confused as to why they’ve been deleted. So I’ve compiled my top 10 reasons for deleting you … whoever you are…

10. I chat on MSN… Not PSN
9.   I accepted/sent a friend request and we haven’t talked/gamed since
8.  You’re in my clan/squad but don’t even try to get along.
7.  Inviting people to games is a mystery to you.
6.  Instead of pulling me into a game to assist you, chat at me like tech support.  (See #10)
5. You/I’ve not been a good co-op partner.
4. You flat out suck.
3. I needed to put space between you and my nuts
2. You’re a “model”/”mannequin” gamer (natural poser)
1. No respect for my count (Which is kinda all of the above)

I fully admit I’ve deleted people for having a low trophy count, but thats because they fall under #1 or 2.

And I hate to sound like I’m bragging cuz its totally not brag worthy, but I’m ranked moderately well on Playfire.com (Locally/Nationally I’m almost top #100 .. internationally I drop further) so a lot of Canadian/American ranked gamers add me to game.  But I rather play with friends I actually know… So add me my tag is  IamFN2K and you have 30 days to play a game with me otherwise you will be replaced by someone who will.  No disrespect.  But I came to game.

Just an observation.

Square-Enix has talent and a heavily lobotomized fanbase.

First off… FInal Fantasy 13 is nothing special.  A great game… Probably… Memorable? Possibly.  Time will tell.

What was their last absolute smash packed jam hit?  Probably Final Fantasy X.   Though I don’t see what the fuss is about with that one.  It is a good game… but you can put lipstick on any shitty game… call it Final Fantasy and SOMEBODY will treat it like gold dookie.

Say what you want about every single lackluster effort since FFX… One thing is undeniable.

Square-Enix are colossal, arrogant, dimwitted … douchebags.

They’ve managed to repackage Chrono Trigger twice, countless final fantasy games and a whole slew of other shit gamers didn’t know they wanted till they saw “Squaresoft” / “Square-Enix” branded on the front/side.

But now that PSN is doing it kinda big with putting PSX games on PSN – You’d think the supreme lords of double and triple dipping (They beat Konami AND Capcom) would have more than just a few FF titles online.

Recently they’ve discussed putting FF9 on PSN… They actually had to discuss this.  This is how they are spending your FF13 money.  They had to propose something that is a no brainer. 

Confused?

Final Fantasy 7 is on PSN… around a year later… Final Fantasy 8 hits PSN… Both are considered successes…  So after a while, some lightbulb goes off in a SE employees head and thinks “Wait a sec.. Didn’t FF9 come out 10 years ago?  OOOH 10 year anniversary” ….

NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT A 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! Its not that memorable of a game!~! Just put the fucking game online and charge us 10 bucks for it already. You don’t need to discuss this!!!!!!

You actually called a game… Final Fantasy X-2 … Not Final Fantasy “EX” Two…. Final Fantasy TEN TWO…… Is Yuna fly fishing? Driving? If you wanted to discuss something… it was then!

This is why I have the need to punch you guys in the throat. All of you. 

I’m not fooled by any of this.  Square doesn’t listen to their fans.  They make the games they want to make and KUDOS for doing it.  But if they listened to their fans… You know damn well what you’d be playing

Chrono Trigger 3 or Final Fantasy 7: HD

In conclusion… I look forward to FF 13: Versus as well as Agito (Sp?) because in all honesty… you make playable triple A games 99.9999%… and that’s something I can’t say of most developers with 20+ years in the biz.

But the problem is this… Bioware & Bathesda…  Hell even Level 5 has a more innovative property on their hands.

All I’m saying is that Sq-Enix better revolutionize or evolve the RPG because sooner or later somebody is going to notice that Square-Enix isn't actually *THAT* good.  And you’ll notice some things on that list…

Like Final Fantasy 14… and Final Fantasy 15…  I can’t believe these words haven’t lost all meaning.

After saying there will be a decade of Final Fantasy XIII .. you’re kinda shooting yourselves in the face with buckshot here…

JG